Monday, March 18, 2013
Alternative Dimension? Nope, Just Highschool.
Let me start off by saying, thank goodness that Youtube has full length CDs to listen to.
I don't like people so listening to music when I'm not watching anime is the closest thing to bliss that I could achieve in this school.
I've become convinced that everyone in this school, with the exception of VERY FEW people, are stupid. They just give that impression. When you hear, "Rolling up in the crib with some kush and shooting up with the homies while bitches on the dick" on a regular basis, could you blame me?
I'm so glad that life isn't like this outside of this high school, nor are any of the other schools that I've been to. Seriously, Lee prides itself on being the most ghetto school in town.
I will give Lee that it helped me come out of my shell. I was angry and kept to myself, not shy, just quiet. When I came to Lee, that was gone by the end of Freshmen year.
You can't be quiet in this school. If you are, you'll explode eventually.
I guess that I can't say too much though... I hardly come to school as it is. Why bother? So long as I make the grades, why do I have to be here? Focus on the kids that are failing before you bug me about my attendance, and trust me, there are plenty failing here at Lee.
My grades are decent, my test scores are great, and I get my work done. Why do I have to come? ;-;
I miss about 50+ days a year...
Ugh, I only have like 40 something before I graduate.... So close...
Friday, March 8, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Online Gaming Sites!~
I'm going to post about some online gaming sites that I inhabit. I'll include my referral codes if you want them but otherwise, feel free to read my description.
To find a certain area, hold ctrl+F to pull up the find box. Then type in the code below.
Pokemon Games - PMG
Pet Sites- PS
Human Avatar Sites (IE:Like Gaia)- HA
To find a certain area, hold ctrl+F to pull up the find box. Then type in the code below.
Pokemon Games - PMG
Pet Sites- PS
Human Avatar Sites (IE:Like Gaia)- HA
Pokemon Games -PMG
VdexProject.net
Vdex project is a Pokemon site that has held my attention or years. It is a site mostly for collectors because the battle system isn't very large. However, there is plenty to collect and many other features that make up for it. This game uses official sprites from the Pokemon games and prides itself on having all of the sprites from the original green to BW. That being said, you can collect these sprites which are called retros, collect shinies, special natures, event Pokemon, or other things that may strike your interest. The forum is very active for such a small community.
Other features include, but are not limited to, breeding, berries, dungeons (Site exclusive), galleries, and more.
Virtuadopt.com
Virtuadopt is a smaller Pokemon game that also has an active forum for it's size. It is a click game, meaning that to earn your Pokemon, a certain amount of people must click on them. The main goal in this site is to collect Pokemon, but you can also aim to level them up. Shinies are hard to earn, making them some of the biggest goals. They also offer events on a regular basis, managing to make plenty of goals for such a straight forward game. If you join this, I highly suggest that you also join Yarolds so that you can hatch your Pokemon faster.
Other features include, but are not limited to, breeding, trading, in-game click exchange (very inactive), and games.
GpxPlus.net
Much like Virtuadopt, GPX focuses on getting eggs clicked to hatch Pokemon and then to collect. The difference between Virtuadopt and GPX is that GPX has a better click system built into the sites that eliminates the need for Yarolds. Gpx has also made it easier to obtain shinies, some being obtained within hours of deciding that you'd like one. Gpx does not have a trading system, making some things hard to obtain if not impossible at times, however, people breed the event Pokemon for shinies so you can often find them in the shelter. They also host a pleasant GTS site.
Other features include, but are not limited to, breeding, missions, goals, achievements, and badges.
pokemon-vortex.com/
Pokemon Vortex is similar to Crater, a very popular Pokemon site that was up years ago. You travel a map, catch Pokemon species of all kinds, and train them with NPC battles. You can catch fossil Pokemon, dark Pokemon, shinies, and more. The downside to them is that they're painfully easy to find, the upside is that there are a lot of sprites so there is a lot to collect.
Features include, but are not limited to, battling, plenty of sprites, ability to buy some Pokemon in game.
Pet Sites -PS
Neopets.com<-Click to be referred by me.
Neopets is one of the best known pet sites on the internet. It offers plenty of features and games so just about everyone is able to find something that they like. The only issue that I see with Neopets is that it caters mostly to the younger audience, giving it a childlike reputation at times. On this site, you can feed, train, and raise your pets. You can build two types of houses for them, play hundreds of games, lurk pleasant shops with constant variety, and inhabit the forum. Neopets offers something for basically anyone and despite your age, it is definitely worth checking out.
Features include, but are not limited to, missions, games, shops, trading, exploring, customize, and pets.
Aywas.com<--Click to be referred by me.
Aywas immediately caught my attention with two things. To join, you must apply. You apply to show that you have a basic grasp of grammar. It's not very hard to apply though, you mostly just have to type out your words instead of using grammar like u, ttyl, and brb. The second thing is the amount of pets that can be caught. There are so many that it is mind boggling. Most of them are easy to obtain, but some are hard, giving it a good balance. One of the biggest features for Aywas is the fast that you may submit your own pets and items, making it really good if you're the Artsy type. They also offer help to fellow members in bad times, giving me a very good taste in my mouth for them. The only bad thing that I can think of for this site is the forums aren't as active as I would like. All the same, they're still active and everyone is extremely kind.
Feature include, but are not limited to, human avatars, pets, shops, games, forums, proper grammar, real life help, and customization.
Human Avatar Sites- HA
Gaiaonline.com
Of course most people know Gaia, but it is worth mentioning. Gaia offers extremely active forums, though, most of them consist of spam. However, the games usually bring educated and nice people as well as pleasant game play. Human avatars are extremely customizable, giving you the ability to cosplay almost anyone with your avatar. The main issue I have with Gaia is their tech support but that is mostly for personal reasons.
Features include, but are not limited to, human avatars, games, forums, shops, manga, and anime viewing.
IMVU.com
Imvu offers plenty of avatar items and the ability to make your own as well. Your avatars become 3D, but you have to download the application. It's like an instant messenger that introduces you to random people all over the world. You can make and customize the avatars as well as their rooms and the things that they do. It's a great game if you like to design stuff or talk to people.
Features include, but are not limited to, human avatars, instant messaging, chatting, and customization.
More to come!~
Friday, January 18, 2013
Drunk Democrats
I never would have considered a democratic celebration to be a party. Certainly not somewhere to find a DJ and alcohol.
Well, at least not before tonight.
The group that I volunteer with: Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgendered Advocacy & Youth Services worked for tips at a democratic party tonight. We had a table set up for donations, took coats, helped serve food, clear tables, take drinks, and do anything needed.
At first, it was pretty boring. I just stood there and felt out of place, but once people started to get a bit tipsy and once the crowd grew, it kind of became fun.
A big dance crowd formed and we did everything from The Cupid Shuffle to The Electric Slide. A little before the dancing began, my English teacher from last year had come in. She helped start me off dancing and I went from there all night, dancing with all kinds of people.
There was a small uncomfortable moment when an old man started dancing with me, but he was sweet enough and didn't try anything. I think he only started dancing with me because I had talked to him earlier and was nice so he picked someone he knew to help him feel comfortable dancing.
At some point while dancing, I noticed that a lady was on the ground and throwing up while people were trying to help her up. Immediately I rushed over there and helped them lift her into her chair. You would think that a group of adults would know what to do with a drunk person, but apparently not. I got some crackers into her, a napkin to wipe her off, a bucket, and a small amount of water to keep the throwing up from dehydrating her.
Finally the paramedics showed up. I bet her husband sure was embarrassed.
After that, I went back to dancing until the party was over. Then I started helping with popping balloons. While doing that, some woman all but latched onto to my head to tell me how beautiful my rainbow hair was. She took pictures and kept playing with it but she was being so sweet that I didn't have the heart to tell her to go away. Finally I got called away... Fifteen to twenty minutes later.
Actually, all of that gave it some spice and made it kind of fun.
Add the fact that everyone who was there was super kind to me and very talkative and it was an overall enjoyable night.
I'm telling you, put some booze in your democrats. They're hell'o fun to be around then.
Well, at least not before tonight.
The group that I volunteer with: Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgendered Advocacy & Youth Services worked for tips at a democratic party tonight. We had a table set up for donations, took coats, helped serve food, clear tables, take drinks, and do anything needed.
At first, it was pretty boring. I just stood there and felt out of place, but once people started to get a bit tipsy and once the crowd grew, it kind of became fun.
A big dance crowd formed and we did everything from The Cupid Shuffle to The Electric Slide. A little before the dancing began, my English teacher from last year had come in. She helped start me off dancing and I went from there all night, dancing with all kinds of people.
There was a small uncomfortable moment when an old man started dancing with me, but he was sweet enough and didn't try anything. I think he only started dancing with me because I had talked to him earlier and was nice so he picked someone he knew to help him feel comfortable dancing.
At some point while dancing, I noticed that a lady was on the ground and throwing up while people were trying to help her up. Immediately I rushed over there and helped them lift her into her chair. You would think that a group of adults would know what to do with a drunk person, but apparently not. I got some crackers into her, a napkin to wipe her off, a bucket, and a small amount of water to keep the throwing up from dehydrating her.
Finally the paramedics showed up. I bet her husband sure was embarrassed.
After that, I went back to dancing until the party was over. Then I started helping with popping balloons. While doing that, some woman all but latched onto to my head to tell me how beautiful my rainbow hair was. She took pictures and kept playing with it but she was being so sweet that I didn't have the heart to tell her to go away. Finally I got called away... Fifteen to twenty minutes later.
Actually, all of that gave it some spice and made it kind of fun.
Add the fact that everyone who was there was super kind to me and very talkative and it was an overall enjoyable night.
I'm telling you, put some booze in your democrats. They're hell'o fun to be around then.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Funerals and Subs On Drugs
I've gone to two funerals this school year and I hope that I don't have to attend another one. The first one, I didn't go to the visitation and it was packed out because it was a kid from our school. It felt like what a funeral should be. Sad and important.
The second one was someone that I knew very well and it felt so weird. We went to the visitation and she was in the coffin with it open, just laying there and looking like she could sit up any moment.
Everyone, and there weren't many people, was sitting around, talking, laughing, and just carrying on like the body of their mom, sister, and friend wasn't right there.
It stayed like that the entire time and it just made me really uncomfortable.
For the actual funeral service the front two pews were barely even stocked. Nobody seemed too upset and the service was mostly music instead of talking about her.
We got to the actual funeral and it took less then five minutes. A preacher said that it was the last time we would see her and it was over. At the other person's funeral, it lasted over thirty minutes with people wanting to put flowers on his grave and say goodbye.
It just felt really eerie...
So, while I'm typing this and trying to gather my thoughts, it's really not working.
I really wanted to organize my mind by writing this, but I can't because I'm in my writing class and I don't have any headphones.
I'm also pretty sure that this sub is on drugs.
He kept interrupting our work to talk about IT. Not IT by Stephen King but IT. When he says it, we don't know anything about what the hell he's talking about. He randomly says, "You don't know me or what I mean."
Other than that, I can't even catch on to what he's saying. It doesn't make any sense. Seriously, I'll type a bit of what he's saying as he says it. Keep in mind, the current context...There is none. We're just sitting around and listening to him talk.
"Let me tell you something right now. There is nothing to make you feel better, well, I don't care if you feel good or not. To make you feel better, there is nothing that you can think of that hasn't been thought of."
"If anyone could bottle or capture it, there is nothing that smells better than a newborn baby. A newborn baby has that smell up unto a year old."
"That smell, a newborn baby. If you ever get a chance to smell a baby, they smell soooo good."
"Yin and yang is yin and yong. Do you know which is which? Which is dark?"
The second one was someone that I knew very well and it felt so weird. We went to the visitation and she was in the coffin with it open, just laying there and looking like she could sit up any moment.
Everyone, and there weren't many people, was sitting around, talking, laughing, and just carrying on like the body of their mom, sister, and friend wasn't right there.
It stayed like that the entire time and it just made me really uncomfortable.
For the actual funeral service the front two pews were barely even stocked. Nobody seemed too upset and the service was mostly music instead of talking about her.
We got to the actual funeral and it took less then five minutes. A preacher said that it was the last time we would see her and it was over. At the other person's funeral, it lasted over thirty minutes with people wanting to put flowers on his grave and say goodbye.
It just felt really eerie...
So, while I'm typing this and trying to gather my thoughts, it's really not working.
I really wanted to organize my mind by writing this, but I can't because I'm in my writing class and I don't have any headphones.
I'm also pretty sure that this sub is on drugs.
He kept interrupting our work to talk about IT. Not IT by Stephen King but IT. When he says it, we don't know anything about what the hell he's talking about. He randomly says, "You don't know me or what I mean."
Other than that, I can't even catch on to what he's saying. It doesn't make any sense. Seriously, I'll type a bit of what he's saying as he says it. Keep in mind, the current context...There is none. We're just sitting around and listening to him talk.
"Let me tell you something right now. There is nothing to make you feel better, well, I don't care if you feel good or not. To make you feel better, there is nothing that you can think of that hasn't been thought of."
"If anyone could bottle or capture it, there is nothing that smells better than a newborn baby. A newborn baby has that smell up unto a year old."
"That smell, a newborn baby. If you ever get a chance to smell a baby, they smell soooo good."
"Yin and yang is yin and yong. Do you know which is which? Which is dark?"
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Johnny Test Creepy Pasta
He used
to be a happy and healthy young child. He would go out and play with his
friends every day, but one day, he had an accident. The actual accident is
questionable, maybe he got in a fight, or maybe he fell, all we know is that we
found him in the front yard, bleeding and unconscious.
When Johnny Test woke up, he was different. While
the rest of the children went about their usual day, something was off about
Johnny. For starters, he began to see his dog as a person. While everyone
around him realized that Dookie was just a dog, he seemed to think he was
another child. In attempts to make his new illness easier on him, his sisters
decided to play along. Since their parents were against the idea, they kept it
quiet from them.
His
parents kept him out of school because his hallucinations simply made him too
different. This is where his sisters stepped in again to try and make his life
easier. He had always seen them as smart, but his view became stronger after
his accident. After his accident, he began to see them as some of the smartest
people in the world, capable of doing anything once they set their mind to it.
His sisters played off of this and went through imaginary games daily with him,
helping him live out all of wishes and dreams.
That’s my Johnny Test creepy pasta, or what I have of it so
far. I still need to think of an explanation for Black and White as well as for
the villians. Maybe the villians can be things that he sees daily and has a
secret hatred against because they can go on with their life. The mole man and
cat thingy are just regular animals, the butler being the cat’s owner. Deep
Freeze could be a boy that lives near him, since he was an actual boy at some
point. Vegan can be another man that lives near him and on.
Give me some feedback and let me know what you think. If you
have any suggestions for Creepy Pastas, let me know and I’ll give it a try.
I Can Blog!
To start off, I have
to take the moment to say that my mom officially has purple hair. I’ve told her
several times not to get into my hair dye, but she didn’t listen, thinking that
it was wash out, so that’s what she gets. I’m not going to tell her anything
about hair dye remover. If she wants to get it out, she’s just going to have to
bleach it. I’ve paid a lot of money for my hair dye and she insists on getting
into it regularly. She offers to dye her friend’s hair, occasionally does her
tips, and has even used it on the dog. I’m not paying twenty dollars a bottle
for her to waste it like that.
All of that aside, I’m still not very happy with her. I was
at school yesterday until around 4:30 because I have an after school club
called Anime Brigade. I asked her to come get me afterwards because it was
raining and freezing, I don’t like jackets so I didn’t have one with me. She
waited thirty minutes before calling me and telling me that my dog was missing
and my dad was strung out on pills. Finally I convinced her to come get me so I
could look for my dog. She bitched the entire ride home and I ignored her,
freaking out mentally about the fact that Ichigo was missing. Low and behold,
when I got home, Ichigo was in the kitchen. His fur was a little wet, telling
me that he had been in the backyard, but he was safe. Obviously I wasn’t happy with the mini-panic
attack that I had before that though.
Unfortunately, I have to be nice to her though. She just
lost a friend, kind of? I’m not really sure of the depth of the relationship
honesty. I got a phone call Friday afternoon while I was staying after school
for Academic Team Practice. The person on the phone told me that mom’s friend
was about to pass away any second. With that in mind, I all but ran the mile
home while calling mom repeatedly. I figured that she would want to say goodbye
to her friend before she had passed away. When I finally got home and let mom
know what was going on, she didn’t want to go to the hospital and she didn’t
even seem to care. She has seemed to be a little upset, but that’s questionable
honestly. She wants me to go to the viewing and funeral with her tonight and
tomorrow respectively.
Other than that, I don’t think anything important has
happened to me recently. I’ve figured out what I’m going to do for college,
which is go to a community college for the first year or two to get my core
classes out of the way cheaply. I’m hoping that the FAFSA will pay for that for
me because my GPA leaves room to be desired. If it does, I intend to raise my
GPA there now that I actually care about my future. When I do that, I’m going
to try for scholarships to a college out of town called The University of North
Alabama. There, I am going to double major in sociology and Child Development.
While I’m here in town, I intend to work towards a car and try to get a job in
a daycare. I’m going to move in with my grandma so that she can help me get the
things that I need.
Wish me luck!~
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Lee High Magnet
Today, I am furious. I feel like I have basically been insulted to my face by the principal at my school. I was late to my Creative Writing MAGNET because I had club pictures. When I came in to get someone for a picture, my magnet teacher was crying. That in it's self made me angry. Let me state that out of all the teachers that I've had, she has been the second biggest influence in my life. It takes a lot to put up with me because if you know me well, I am loud, gregarious, and temperamental. Despite all of this, I maintain strongly that there are very few teachers out there that would be able to keep their cool with me for one year, much less three. She actually cares about what we have going on at home and wants us to be happy. Do you know how rare that is for a teacher? Yeah, she makes me angry sometimes because we have differing views on stuff, but I know that she means the best. She was crying because in the first time in seven years she had been written up. She was written up because us students, students that applied to this class and come from all over town, published in magazines, novels, and newspapers, students that keep good grades, students that have been shown to be exceptional in this subject, were writing stuff that was "TOO VULGAR". We have never had this issue before. When we enter this class, we are expected to be amazing writers that can go above and beyond. If you censor our work, some of us will never go anywhere. We have students in here that could be the next Stephen King, but they won't ever do that if they are told that they can't. I am about to turn eighteen this month. I think that I have the mental capacity to understand what I am reading. And no, my own writing has never been vulgar. It's not my own writing that I am worried about. I am upset over how this was handled, what with her being written up instead of confronted, and I am furious with us being censored. Magnet makes Lee what it is. If not for the magnet, Lee would have been shut down because of the white to black ratio. Even if that wasn't the case, Lee is known for it's Magnet. Do. Not. Fuck. With. Us.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Beta Club, Bras, More
I am really uncomfortable right now. Like, super uncomfortable.
I have a Beta Club initiation on Thursday and we have to dress all fancy and pretty. Because of this, I was forced to go dress shopping. I needed to get some new shoes anyway because the soles were wearing off on mine. While we were there, I picked out two really nice dresses but they weren't flattering to me so we didn't get them. My grandma asked a lady to help us and the lady picked out a dress that I thought was really ugly, but she watched it with a jacket and belt that made it look really good on me. The only issue with the dress then was that it made me look flat chest. I have DD size breast and I was looking flat chested. ;-;
She had me try on one of their bras and all of the sudden, I was not only back to my normal bust size, but double. o.o I thought that they may be padded and as a rule was against that but no, they just had wire.
After we got that outfit and two bras, we went to the mall and I got my first pair of boots.
Let me just say, the smallest things make me super happy. I was so excited to have them, I still am.
The only issue is that they're pretty uncomfortable. ;-;
So, I'm sitting here at school with my new bra and boots, trying to ignore how uncomfortable that they are. The bras wire is poking the soft fleshy part of the inside of my arm and the boots keep pulling my socks down and chaffing me.
I have a Beta Club initiation on Thursday and we have to dress all fancy and pretty. Because of this, I was forced to go dress shopping. I needed to get some new shoes anyway because the soles were wearing off on mine. While we were there, I picked out two really nice dresses but they weren't flattering to me so we didn't get them. My grandma asked a lady to help us and the lady picked out a dress that I thought was really ugly, but she watched it with a jacket and belt that made it look really good on me. The only issue with the dress then was that it made me look flat chest. I have DD size breast and I was looking flat chested. ;-;
She had me try on one of their bras and all of the sudden, I was not only back to my normal bust size, but double. o.o I thought that they may be padded and as a rule was against that but no, they just had wire.
After we got that outfit and two bras, we went to the mall and I got my first pair of boots.
Let me just say, the smallest things make me super happy. I was so excited to have them, I still am.
The only issue is that they're pretty uncomfortable. ;-;
So, I'm sitting here at school with my new bra and boots, trying to ignore how uncomfortable that they are. The bras wire is poking the soft fleshy part of the inside of my arm and the boots keep pulling my socks down and chaffing me.
Friday, December 7, 2012
School Blocks
I've been helping people get past the school blocks on the laptops all yesterday and today. What we've been doing is downloading Google Chrome and some software called Psiphon3. The software works as a proxy that can't be blocked because it's not a site. It doesn't affect anything, download time, doesn't put any bulky graphics on the page, nothing. The only problem with it is that you have to use Google Chrome which is fine with me because that's what I use anyway. XD
It's funny though because kids have been coming to me in groups to ask for help, even a few of the teachers.
If you block stuff on the computers, people are going to find a way around it. The kids already hacked into the computer and got the wi-fi password for the adult wi-fi which has less blocks, put video games on their computers, and movies. I'm waiting for someone to hack into the administrator account on the laptops and spread the password so people can just change the settings.
I wanted to put an emulator on here so I wouldn't have to download the games separately but I might not be able to until someone does get the password so I can change the download settings.
It's funny though because kids have been coming to me in groups to ask for help, even a few of the teachers.
If you block stuff on the computers, people are going to find a way around it. The kids already hacked into the computer and got the wi-fi password for the adult wi-fi which has less blocks, put video games on their computers, and movies. I'm waiting for someone to hack into the administrator account on the laptops and spread the password so people can just change the settings.
I wanted to put an emulator on here so I wouldn't have to download the games separately but I might not be able to until someone does get the password so I can change the download settings.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Sign Language~
I haven't really had too much interesting going on in my life lately, well, I'm sure that I have, I just can't think of anything.
Right now, I'm working really hard on my sign language. I'm trying to learn the song Snuff by Slipknot is SEE which is turning out to be really hard because a lot of sites want to teach ASL. I would happily learn ASL if I had someone who would sit down and take the time to teach it to me.
Until then, I am slowly working on SEE. I know most of the song, but the signs are mixed between SEE and ASL. ;-; I don't even have the signs for some things because I can't find a sign for them, words like of, that, and to...
Then, I went to an English teacher that I had last year and asked her to help me because she is fluent in sign language. I was so proud when I went in there because I had learned so many more signs since I had last seen her, but then I found out that they were all ASL which doesn't do me any good if there isn't anyone to teach me how to sign it. She helped teach me a few signs in SEE for the song that I need.
I will get this damn it.
And wow, I just want to mention that I am typing really fast on this laptop and it's kinda neat because when I got it, I didn't think that I would be able to do this. ^-^
Right now, I'm working really hard on my sign language. I'm trying to learn the song Snuff by Slipknot is SEE which is turning out to be really hard because a lot of sites want to teach ASL. I would happily learn ASL if I had someone who would sit down and take the time to teach it to me.
Until then, I am slowly working on SEE. I know most of the song, but the signs are mixed between SEE and ASL. ;-; I don't even have the signs for some things because I can't find a sign for them, words like of, that, and to...
Then, I went to an English teacher that I had last year and asked her to help me because she is fluent in sign language. I was so proud when I went in there because I had learned so many more signs since I had last seen her, but then I found out that they were all ASL which doesn't do me any good if there isn't anyone to teach me how to sign it. She helped teach me a few signs in SEE for the song that I need.
I will get this damn it.
And wow, I just want to mention that I am typing really fast on this laptop and it's kinda neat because when I got it, I didn't think that I would be able to do this. ^-^
Monday, November 26, 2012
Thanksgiving & Black Friday
Thanksgiving dinner was amazing. We had turkey, ribs, and ham for our meat and a lot of different sides. Even though I'm allergic to the mushrooms in the green bean casserole, I still gave it a try. It messed with my stomach a little bit, but it was still well worth it.
Instead of staying with my mom and step dad, I went to my grandma's and grandpa's. We had our usual guests, my dad, aunt, uncle, nephew, and great grandma. My uncle and I have had some bad history so I try to avoid him, but he hugged me anyway. Bleugh.
He tried to perform and exorcism on my step dad. -.-
Take that as you may.
After we ate, we sat around and chilled until it was time to take great grandma back to assisted living and go to the store for Black Friday. Dad and I waited in line for around half an hour and then the doors open. Instead of letting everyone run in like I had hoped that they would do, they only let us in by groups.
Dad and I were midway in the line so we didn't get the things that we wanted. I was supposed to run ahead and get a 3DS package and dad was supposed to get a blu-ray player. Both of the deals were gone. Since I figured that grandma would still buy me the 3DS, I grabbed one that wasn't marked down and the Pokemon game that was the main reason that I was getting the system. Then I went and hid somewhere in the store and away from all of the people until grandma, who I call mom a lot so try not to get them confused, was able to get in the store. As soon as she was, she sent me on missions to find several deals and I found them and then returned to her. As long as I had something to do the crowd's didn't really freak me out too much. Once we had done all of our shopping, we had to wait in line. The line took two hours. I called my boyfriend and went walking around the store while mom and dad waited in line.
After we left Target, we ran by Wal-Mart and that was totally empty. Their next deal wasn't until 5 AM so everyone had gone home and would return later.
By the time we had gotten home, we had been out for six hours.
The next day, we put up Christmas lights. ^-^
Now, it's CyberMonday and I'm looking for new shoes. I found a really neat brand called Demonia I mean, they're really neat. You should look them up... Now. They're a bit expensive, but that's okay sometimes for shoes.
I hope that mom will get them for me. She already got my 3DS and three games to go with it. I know that's not cheap. Oh, she got me a big thing of Pokemon cards as well.
Instead of staying with my mom and step dad, I went to my grandma's and grandpa's. We had our usual guests, my dad, aunt, uncle, nephew, and great grandma. My uncle and I have had some bad history so I try to avoid him, but he hugged me anyway. Bleugh.
He tried to perform and exorcism on my step dad. -.-
Take that as you may.
After we ate, we sat around and chilled until it was time to take great grandma back to assisted living and go to the store for Black Friday. Dad and I waited in line for around half an hour and then the doors open. Instead of letting everyone run in like I had hoped that they would do, they only let us in by groups.
Dad and I were midway in the line so we didn't get the things that we wanted. I was supposed to run ahead and get a 3DS package and dad was supposed to get a blu-ray player. Both of the deals were gone. Since I figured that grandma would still buy me the 3DS, I grabbed one that wasn't marked down and the Pokemon game that was the main reason that I was getting the system. Then I went and hid somewhere in the store and away from all of the people until grandma, who I call mom a lot so try not to get them confused, was able to get in the store. As soon as she was, she sent me on missions to find several deals and I found them and then returned to her. As long as I had something to do the crowd's didn't really freak me out too much. Once we had done all of our shopping, we had to wait in line. The line took two hours. I called my boyfriend and went walking around the store while mom and dad waited in line.
After we left Target, we ran by Wal-Mart and that was totally empty. Their next deal wasn't until 5 AM so everyone had gone home and would return later.
By the time we had gotten home, we had been out for six hours.
The next day, we put up Christmas lights. ^-^
Now, it's CyberMonday and I'm looking for new shoes. I found a really neat brand called Demonia I mean, they're really neat. You should look them up... Now. They're a bit expensive, but that's okay sometimes for shoes.
I hope that mom will get them for me. She already got my 3DS and three games to go with it. I know that's not cheap. Oh, she got me a big thing of Pokemon cards as well.
Monday, November 19, 2012
College, Thanksgiving, Boyfriend, and Trains. =D
I don't really have anything all that important to type about today, but I haven't updated in a few days and I promised myself that I would keep this updated. >.>
One day I'll go as far as to make illustrations or something....Maybe. I want a tablet.
College... A word that is made to torment man into a world of hectic chaos. Once they escape the prison that is known as high school, college is almost unavoidable. If you don't attend college, you will hear about college everywhere.
I intend to go because I want to be a therapist and that requires a college degree. If I don't get that, I honestly don't know what I would do with my life but I didn't think about that until recently.
I guess it's because it never really fully hit me. I don't think that it has yet, that I will be going off on my own pretty soon.
So, this weekend I spent the night at my grandma's so that I could fill out college applications and blah, blah, blah, blah. It wasn't too bad. I also made an It Gets Better video in sign language.
One day I'll go as far as to make illustrations or something....Maybe. I want a tablet.
College... A word that is made to torment man into a world of hectic chaos. Once they escape the prison that is known as high school, college is almost unavoidable. If you don't attend college, you will hear about college everywhere.
I intend to go because I want to be a therapist and that requires a college degree. If I don't get that, I honestly don't know what I would do with my life but I didn't think about that until recently.
I guess it's because it never really fully hit me. I don't think that it has yet, that I will be going off on my own pretty soon.
So, this weekend I spent the night at my grandma's so that I could fill out college applications and blah, blah, blah, blah. It wasn't too bad. I also made an It Gets Better video in sign language.
I
really enjoyed doing that because I got to learn a bunch of new signs that I hadn’t
known beforehand. I still remember them which is the best part.
Oh, I got to see a childhood friend that I haven’t seen in
about three years. She had posted on Facebook about wanting to learn sign
language and I commented that my dad and I could help her. We got to talking
and while I was at my grandma’s, she came and picked me up. She looks really
different. I don’t think that I’ve changed too much in the past several years,
though I probably have, but she really has. She had gotten taller and grown
into a more proportional adult as well as her voiced had changed. She said that
I looked and sounded different as well. She’s also taken up smoking.
He
brother didn’t look too different and he was still as annoying as he’s always
been, coming in her room while we were hanging out and being overall
aggravating.
I’ll probably go see on her again on Thanksgiving break
which really needs to hurry up so that I can get out of school. I’m not
thinking about food right now because I ate some semi-raw ham last night and it
made my stomach feel bad. I’m thinking about staying up on the phone with my
boyfriend all night and sleeping in all day.
Which, one the note of boyfriend, things are going amazingly
well with him. I don’t think that I’ve ever been so content in a relationship
as I am this one. He’s really sweet, we never fight, and we talk for hours when
we get the chance to. Plus, it’s not taxing like some of my other relationships
where people had to bring drama into it and so forth.
The last part of the title, trains, relates back to that kid
who passed away at my school. I’ve been a little nervous of trains after driver’s
ed showing us a video of people and cars getting hit by them, but that helped
remind me just how much that they creep me out. I live near the train track and
before, they came so regularly that you just get used to the noise and it doesn’t
process when they come. Now, I hear them every time a train comes which is
about every thirty minutes to an hour.
I also mentioned it to my therapist and she said that she
also thinks that it was suicide because she was told that he was kicked off the
baseball team the day before.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
R.I.P Dylan, Hama-Con, & Dreams
This weekend was a sad weekend for my high school. We lost a Freshmen Friday afternoon about forty minutes after school got out. His name was Dylan and even though I didn't know him, it's still a bit sad.
He was only fourteen. That's what gets me. Fourteen is way too young to be buried.
Right next to our school, we have a train track. It's not too uncommon for kids to walk on the track for convenience sake. Though, they usually move off of the rails when a train is coming so it's not as big of a deal.
That's why I think this is suicide. He should have felt the rails vibrating or heard the horn. He was walking on the track, not trying to run across the crossing or beat the train.
All the same, I will be attending his funeral and giving my condolences to the family as a fellow school mate. I went to school for a very brief moment before mom checked me out and I felt like I was going to suffocate under the sweltering sadness of people remembering their friend.
Lost but not forgotten.
Though, I can't honestly say that was the highlight of my weekend because I hardly knew him.
What was the highlight of my weekend was going to Hama-Con Saturday. I got up at eight, got dressed and all of that good stuff, then my friend Addie was dropped off at my house.
We stopped by the bank and grocery store so that I could pick up the money to get us lunch. Like the healthy kids that we are we got a 2 litter of Dr. Pepper, Hot Cheetos, Poptarts, M&Ms, and Cheez Its.
It was slightly comical because we were musing about if the two litter would fit in one of our purses while we were at the con and a girl looked at us weirdly. It sounded like we were planning on stealing the soda.
After that, we hurried to the con. The registration wasn't that bad which was pretty nice because the line usually takes a little while. Since I was on the pre-registeration list, it took me less than a minute. It took her maybe three, which all in all for a con isn't too bad.
The convention was a lot of fun to. Maybe it was because I had a good friend there with me as well as several other people that I hang out with in school or maybe it was because I attend cons often enough that I know several people and am comfortable with them.
Addie drug me around the convention to take pictures of the cosplayers for the first half. It was okay even though I jokingly complained because I didn't have any panels that I wanted to be to until later that afternoon.
One of the panels that we attended was the Ninja Panel and that was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed getting to play ninja with a large group of people...Even though I seem to do that pretty often anyway.
It did get a tiny bit awkward around the end though. You see, I went to a really small con at the mall that was more of an anime appreciation day than it was a con. While I was there, some guy from the con added me on Facebook. We started chatting. It wasn't anything serious, just idle chatter. Then when I went to actual con here in town, I overheard him say something to his friend about how he was lucky he avoided that one or something and he blocked me from Facebook.
I don't know what that was all about but it made me feel awkward when we ended up being the last two people in ninja. He won by the way.
The awkwardness didn't last too long though since I had a lot of fun.
I also took a group of cosplayers to the park. I don't remember who's idea that was but we ended up inviting several people that we didn't know and splitting our little horde of food with them. We had an America from Hetalia, a Kaito from Vocaloid, Nyan Cat, and several other people that I don't remember what they were from.
One of the people pulled out two foam swords and my friend and I started larping. The loser had to propose to a random character in the con. I won. =D
She ended up proposing to a Grell.
They all wandered back before my friend and I so we started to clean up the area of trash. Once we were done, we began the trek back. On the way, there were four people sitting on a matt, playing instruments and meditating. We kind of idled over to watch and they invited us to join. In the spirit of not being rude, we gave it a go. It was actually a lot of fun. We chanted with them, danced, and meditated then made our way back to the con. From there, we attended several panels and had a great time.
That is, until my best friend decided that she wanted to come. She invited herself around seven at night, well into the con. She was a little upset at me for not inviting her but I didn't invite her because I knew that she wasn't into those type of things.
I was right.
The entire time she complained and insulted just about everyone there. I love her. I love her dearly, but that is not her enviroment.
She was pretty fun at the rave though. Also, it was hilarious to watch her flee from a cosplayer dressed as death. Apparently she has a fear of people wearing masks as well as hugs.
People at conventions really like to hug.
I mean...They REALLY like to hug.
Addie spent the night and we had a lot of fun making stupid Youtube videos the next day.
As for the third part of the title, I've been having some weird dreams that are kind of creeping me out. Sunday night I dreamt about a school shooting that turned into a slave trade. Basically, they shot up the school and then took some people captor to sell as slaves. It's really rare for me to remember a dream, especially in so much clarity so it creeped me out a bit.
The creepier one was last night though.
i dreamed about a friend who had passed away a few years ago. We were in the car and I asked him why people were saying that he was dead. He told me that he didn't know, people posted stupid shit like that all the time.
I found out about his death on Facebook so that's where it was being posted. He lives in Georgia and me in Alabama so I don't know all the details.
The dream was really details and he had even aged since I last saw him so that's what made it so creepy.
He was only fourteen. That's what gets me. Fourteen is way too young to be buried.
Right next to our school, we have a train track. It's not too uncommon for kids to walk on the track for convenience sake. Though, they usually move off of the rails when a train is coming so it's not as big of a deal.
That's why I think this is suicide. He should have felt the rails vibrating or heard the horn. He was walking on the track, not trying to run across the crossing or beat the train.
All the same, I will be attending his funeral and giving my condolences to the family as a fellow school mate. I went to school for a very brief moment before mom checked me out and I felt like I was going to suffocate under the sweltering sadness of people remembering their friend.
Lost but not forgotten.
Though, I can't honestly say that was the highlight of my weekend because I hardly knew him.
What was the highlight of my weekend was going to Hama-Con Saturday. I got up at eight, got dressed and all of that good stuff, then my friend Addie was dropped off at my house.
We stopped by the bank and grocery store so that I could pick up the money to get us lunch. Like the healthy kids that we are we got a 2 litter of Dr. Pepper, Hot Cheetos, Poptarts, M&Ms, and Cheez Its.
It was slightly comical because we were musing about if the two litter would fit in one of our purses while we were at the con and a girl looked at us weirdly. It sounded like we were planning on stealing the soda.
After that, we hurried to the con. The registration wasn't that bad which was pretty nice because the line usually takes a little while. Since I was on the pre-registeration list, it took me less than a minute. It took her maybe three, which all in all for a con isn't too bad.
The convention was a lot of fun to. Maybe it was because I had a good friend there with me as well as several other people that I hang out with in school or maybe it was because I attend cons often enough that I know several people and am comfortable with them.
Addie drug me around the convention to take pictures of the cosplayers for the first half. It was okay even though I jokingly complained because I didn't have any panels that I wanted to be to until later that afternoon.
One of the panels that we attended was the Ninja Panel and that was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed getting to play ninja with a large group of people...Even though I seem to do that pretty often anyway.
It did get a tiny bit awkward around the end though. You see, I went to a really small con at the mall that was more of an anime appreciation day than it was a con. While I was there, some guy from the con added me on Facebook. We started chatting. It wasn't anything serious, just idle chatter. Then when I went to actual con here in town, I overheard him say something to his friend about how he was lucky he avoided that one or something and he blocked me from Facebook.
I don't know what that was all about but it made me feel awkward when we ended up being the last two people in ninja. He won by the way.
The awkwardness didn't last too long though since I had a lot of fun.
I also took a group of cosplayers to the park. I don't remember who's idea that was but we ended up inviting several people that we didn't know and splitting our little horde of food with them. We had an America from Hetalia, a Kaito from Vocaloid, Nyan Cat, and several other people that I don't remember what they were from.
One of the people pulled out two foam swords and my friend and I started larping. The loser had to propose to a random character in the con. I won. =D
She ended up proposing to a Grell.
They all wandered back before my friend and I so we started to clean up the area of trash. Once we were done, we began the trek back. On the way, there were four people sitting on a matt, playing instruments and meditating. We kind of idled over to watch and they invited us to join. In the spirit of not being rude, we gave it a go. It was actually a lot of fun. We chanted with them, danced, and meditated then made our way back to the con. From there, we attended several panels and had a great time.
That is, until my best friend decided that she wanted to come. She invited herself around seven at night, well into the con. She was a little upset at me for not inviting her but I didn't invite her because I knew that she wasn't into those type of things.
I was right.
The entire time she complained and insulted just about everyone there. I love her. I love her dearly, but that is not her enviroment.
She was pretty fun at the rave though. Also, it was hilarious to watch her flee from a cosplayer dressed as death. Apparently she has a fear of people wearing masks as well as hugs.
People at conventions really like to hug.
I mean...They REALLY like to hug.
Addie spent the night and we had a lot of fun making stupid Youtube videos the next day.
As for the third part of the title, I've been having some weird dreams that are kind of creeping me out. Sunday night I dreamt about a school shooting that turned into a slave trade. Basically, they shot up the school and then took some people captor to sell as slaves. It's really rare for me to remember a dream, especially in so much clarity so it creeped me out a bit.
The creepier one was last night though.
i dreamed about a friend who had passed away a few years ago. We were in the car and I asked him why people were saying that he was dead. He told me that he didn't know, people posted stupid shit like that all the time.
I found out about his death on Facebook so that's where it was being posted. He lives in Georgia and me in Alabama so I don't know all the details.
The dream was really details and he had even aged since I last saw him so that's what made it so creepy.
Friday, November 9, 2012
One Is the Lonliest Number ;-;
I have a small anime convention tomorrow. I'm super excited, but at the same time, I'm dreading it.
Per usual, I was the only one of my usual small group to look into it, so I'm the only one going.
I know some people that are going, but none that I really feel comfortable hanging out with.
I'll probably run into a friend or two that I feel comfortable with or make a friend like usual, but we'll see.
Maybe it won't be bad. I went to the first mini-con by myself and I had a good time, but I did have a friend there that I was texting.
Well, kind of a friend. It was a dude that I was talking to and flirting with. He was working most of the time, but it was nice to know that there was someone that I could go and chill with if I wanted to. I also ended up finding a small group of people that I enjoyed hanging out with and we ran around, hugging people.
Literally, we had a hugging competition.
Well, I know that Julian will be there and I can chill with him a bit, but not the entire time.
Hmm, I'll promise just grab someone who's never been to one before and pay their way.
Someone who's never been would be more fun because watching their face is awesome. Oh, it needs to be someone that is willing to do the rave with me as well, assuming that I rave. They have a Pokemon panel then.
I know who I'm going to ask, but God forbid that they have a yaoi panel. I don't want to get kicked out for her trying to sneak in.
Per usual, I was the only one of my usual small group to look into it, so I'm the only one going.
I know some people that are going, but none that I really feel comfortable hanging out with.
I'll probably run into a friend or two that I feel comfortable with or make a friend like usual, but we'll see.
Maybe it won't be bad. I went to the first mini-con by myself and I had a good time, but I did have a friend there that I was texting.
Well, kind of a friend. It was a dude that I was talking to and flirting with. He was working most of the time, but it was nice to know that there was someone that I could go and chill with if I wanted to. I also ended up finding a small group of people that I enjoyed hanging out with and we ran around, hugging people.
Literally, we had a hugging competition.
Well, I know that Julian will be there and I can chill with him a bit, but not the entire time.
Hmm, I'll promise just grab someone who's never been to one before and pay their way.
Someone who's never been would be more fun because watching their face is awesome. Oh, it needs to be someone that is willing to do the rave with me as well, assuming that I rave. They have a Pokemon panel then.
I know who I'm going to ask, but God forbid that they have a yaoi panel. I don't want to get kicked out for her trying to sneak in.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
My Leave From Blogging, Halloween, and Drag Queens
I haven't written a post in a little more than a week. It's not because I've been busy...I just haven't felt like it.
Well, I guess that I should catch up on what has happened to me.
I was excited in my last entry for Halloween. This guy that I liked was supposed to spend that night with me, I was taking my niece trick-or-treating, throwing a going away party for a good friend, and I had my GSA.
Well, the GSA and going away party went great. Then, I got home and started to get ready. An hour before we were supposed to pick him up, I texted him to remind him. No answer.
An hour later, and we were running late anyway, I texted him again and no answer. So, I decided to call him. I had to use my mom's phone since the microphone on my own is busted. When I called, a girl answered the phone. She then informed me that he had went out skating and left his phone there. Okay...Can you have him call me back?
During the course of the night, I sent him two more text messages. One last attempt to see if he was coming and then one telling him where he could go for standing me up. I haven't heard from him since and that's fine. I deleted his number.
I understand standing someone up once in a blue moon, but twice in one week? Hell no!
It was all good though. I had a great time with my niece. She's three years old and she's like an adopted daughter to me. I took her trick-or-treating and she seemed to really enjoy it. On top of that, someone followed us for a few moments to give her a big treat. It turns out that they were saving them for 'the cute ones'. They were probably for the babies in general, but it made me smile.
Once we were almost home, she looked up at me and thanked me for helping her trick-or-treat. My heart melted.
When we got back, dad had been drinking and he was rowdy. He got to spend the night on the back porch. =D
He called my niece a nigger. Yeah, she's black but she's still part of the family and I love her like she's white. Nobody talks like that around her.
I fell asleep by nine that night...Super early for me.
Other things of mention this week...?
Well, there was the presidential election. I'm really glad that Obama won but I feel a bit bad for Romney. I mean, he came so far and tried so hard, but now he's leaving politics. Not just the running for president, but politics in general.
Four more years. =D
Other than that, yesterday is mentionable.
I had my GSA on Wednesday like every week. Every other week, we aim to have a speaker.
Well, I invited a professional drag queen. She's a volunteer with the organization that I work with and she's been nothing but kind every time I've talked to her.
She most certainly didn't deserve the welcoming that she got to my school.
In fact, I feel ashamed to say that I am a Lee High General.
I hurried out of the building as soon as the bell had rung because I didn't want to leave her outside waiting for me. Two of my friends that also attend the GSA caught me going out and joined me. We all walked in together. Within a few feet from the door, we started hearing people talking.
"Is that a dude?" "Aye man, that's a dude!" "Get out of here!"
All kinds of cruel things. The talking then began to roll into yelling. People were following us and yelling things at her! She hadn't even said one word to them.
Luckily, the staff came out and stopped them and we got on the elevator because he knee is bad. Nobody threw anything or tried to touch her.
She was okay with it though...In fact, she seemed used to it.
We had the least amount of members that we've ever had at that meeting. Go figure.
Well, I guess that I should catch up on what has happened to me.
I was excited in my last entry for Halloween. This guy that I liked was supposed to spend that night with me, I was taking my niece trick-or-treating, throwing a going away party for a good friend, and I had my GSA.
Well, the GSA and going away party went great. Then, I got home and started to get ready. An hour before we were supposed to pick him up, I texted him to remind him. No answer.
An hour later, and we were running late anyway, I texted him again and no answer. So, I decided to call him. I had to use my mom's phone since the microphone on my own is busted. When I called, a girl answered the phone. She then informed me that he had went out skating and left his phone there. Okay...Can you have him call me back?
During the course of the night, I sent him two more text messages. One last attempt to see if he was coming and then one telling him where he could go for standing me up. I haven't heard from him since and that's fine. I deleted his number.
I understand standing someone up once in a blue moon, but twice in one week? Hell no!
It was all good though. I had a great time with my niece. She's three years old and she's like an adopted daughter to me. I took her trick-or-treating and she seemed to really enjoy it. On top of that, someone followed us for a few moments to give her a big treat. It turns out that they were saving them for 'the cute ones'. They were probably for the babies in general, but it made me smile.
Once we were almost home, she looked up at me and thanked me for helping her trick-or-treat. My heart melted.
When we got back, dad had been drinking and he was rowdy. He got to spend the night on the back porch. =D
He called my niece a nigger. Yeah, she's black but she's still part of the family and I love her like she's white. Nobody talks like that around her.
I fell asleep by nine that night...Super early for me.
Other things of mention this week...?
Well, there was the presidential election. I'm really glad that Obama won but I feel a bit bad for Romney. I mean, he came so far and tried so hard, but now he's leaving politics. Not just the running for president, but politics in general.
Four more years. =D
Other than that, yesterday is mentionable.
I had my GSA on Wednesday like every week. Every other week, we aim to have a speaker.
Well, I invited a professional drag queen. She's a volunteer with the organization that I work with and she's been nothing but kind every time I've talked to her.
She most certainly didn't deserve the welcoming that she got to my school.
In fact, I feel ashamed to say that I am a Lee High General.
I hurried out of the building as soon as the bell had rung because I didn't want to leave her outside waiting for me. Two of my friends that also attend the GSA caught me going out and joined me. We all walked in together. Within a few feet from the door, we started hearing people talking.
"Is that a dude?" "Aye man, that's a dude!" "Get out of here!"
All kinds of cruel things. The talking then began to roll into yelling. People were following us and yelling things at her! She hadn't even said one word to them.
Luckily, the staff came out and stopped them and we got on the elevator because he knee is bad. Nobody threw anything or tried to touch her.
She was okay with it though...In fact, she seemed used to it.
We had the least amount of members that we've ever had at that meeting. Go figure.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Early Morning Thoughts
I couldn't sleep tonight so I made the choice to stay up all night. I'm not tired, I'm sure I will be later, but that's okay.
Maybe I'll actually be able to sleep when Mikele's here.
I decided to power through the last few episodes of Toradora, which if you don't know is a romance comedy. It's pretty good but it kind of jaded me out.
I miss being with someone and being in love. Yeah, I know that I'm seventeen and that I have plenty of time. I get that, but still...I can't help but feel this way.
I started thinking about Mikele. Yeah, he's great and all, but I know that I'm trying to use him as a filler for what I had.
You see, I dated a guy named Jamie for nine months two years ago...I really cared about him. I've dated several guys, had them take me places and make me smile, even had them admit that they loved me, but none of them stuck with me like Jamie did. I dated these guys before and after him so he wasn't my first or last. Why then does he keep sticking out to me?
He cheated on me so many times, he made me cry constantly, and he left me for my best friend at the time who is now pregnant. I want to be happy for her, but I can't help but a bit resentful. I really cared about him. All the times that I saw him, I was filled with this happiness that made me feel like the entire world wanted me to smile.
It sounds mopey, I know. I'm seventeen, about to be eighteen. I'm too young to be in love. That's what I want to tell myself but I can't help it. I really feel like I loved him. Ever since then, there has been this little emptiness. When I think about him, I feel like crying. Even when I'm with a guy, I don't have that happiness and I want to find someone who will give it to me.
I shouldn't be relying on others to make me happy. I know that, but it's just how I feel.
Even now, a guy who likes me and wants to be with me just texted me. He's such a great guy. He treats me like a queen and makes me smile, but it's not who I want...
I feel like such a brat right now. Heh, complaining and dwelling on some guy who never cared about me.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not unhappy. I'm really excited about this afternoon, getting to take my little girl trick-or-treating and spending the night with guy person. I'm happy all the time, my life is fantastic, but I can't help but feel sad sometimes.
Maybe I'll actually be able to sleep when Mikele's here.
I decided to power through the last few episodes of Toradora, which if you don't know is a romance comedy. It's pretty good but it kind of jaded me out.
I miss being with someone and being in love. Yeah, I know that I'm seventeen and that I have plenty of time. I get that, but still...I can't help but feel this way.
I started thinking about Mikele. Yeah, he's great and all, but I know that I'm trying to use him as a filler for what I had.
You see, I dated a guy named Jamie for nine months two years ago...I really cared about him. I've dated several guys, had them take me places and make me smile, even had them admit that they loved me, but none of them stuck with me like Jamie did. I dated these guys before and after him so he wasn't my first or last. Why then does he keep sticking out to me?
He cheated on me so many times, he made me cry constantly, and he left me for my best friend at the time who is now pregnant. I want to be happy for her, but I can't help but a bit resentful. I really cared about him. All the times that I saw him, I was filled with this happiness that made me feel like the entire world wanted me to smile.
It sounds mopey, I know. I'm seventeen, about to be eighteen. I'm too young to be in love. That's what I want to tell myself but I can't help it. I really feel like I loved him. Ever since then, there has been this little emptiness. When I think about him, I feel like crying. Even when I'm with a guy, I don't have that happiness and I want to find someone who will give it to me.
I shouldn't be relying on others to make me happy. I know that, but it's just how I feel.
Even now, a guy who likes me and wants to be with me just texted me. He's such a great guy. He treats me like a queen and makes me smile, but it's not who I want...
I feel like such a brat right now. Heh, complaining and dwelling on some guy who never cared about me.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not unhappy. I'm really excited about this afternoon, getting to take my little girl trick-or-treating and spending the night with guy person. I'm happy all the time, my life is fantastic, but I can't help but feel sad sometimes.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
I Swear That I'm Japanese
I'm adopted. Yeah, that's what I'll tell people.
Today has been....Plain odd. So, let me start on why it has been odd.
Mikele.
On Sunday, I went out walking. Of course, I am a teen so my cellphone was glued to my hand while I was doing it. I texted him, complaining about how cold it was and then informed him that he should come warm me up. I meant it in jest, but he took it totally serious. I figured, hey, he's cute, so if he wants to come over here and warm me up.... Hell yeah!
Now, don't get me wrong. There is a difference between flirting and sex. I'm looking for a good guy to be with, not a little screw toy. I made that very clear to him to. I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just laying down the boundaries in our flirting.
Well, I got all my makeup on, begged mom, convinced mom, and was just about to walk out the door. Right as we were getting ready to leave, he text me and said that he couldn't make it.
I was frustrated. I mean, I had gotten myself excited. A really cute dude wanted to come over and focus his attention on me? Moi? Uh, hell yeah! Also, eyeliner is expensive, okay?
Come morning, I text him and let him know just how expensive eyeliner is. I had thought about deleting his number, but I didn't. A little background information about Mikele.
He hasn't tried to hit on me for real, he just responds well to when I flirt with him. He's actually pretty polite to me. He doesn't text much so it's not common for him to answers his messages. He was also in a relationship and lying about it. His explanation is that she told him to so that's what they did. I know for a fact that it was an open relationship, but still...I didn't like that he lied about it.
So, you can see why I was tempted to delete his number when he was a no show?
It's not that he doesn't show when he says he will. He's actually pretty good about coming when he says that he will.
It's because of all that. Combine all of that with my bad self-esteem and painful shyness and it's just a jerk of a combo.
Regardless, I texted him and let him know how much eyeliner cost. I'm a sucker for cute dudes, and he's a skater dude? ;-; Spare me the, 'you can do better' and 'you're stupid' lecture, okay?
If all else fails, I can just keep him as a friend.
He apologized and I asked him how he was going to make up for it.
He offered a foot rub.
What girl in her right mind would say no to that?
Well, maybe a girl that doesn't like her feet touched, is insecure about her feet, or just doesn't like them. That aside, I sure wasn't going to say no to that.
He asked me to plan a day for him to come over and do that. Well, I don't like to put things off. It's not just like that with boys, I'm like that with all events. I'm really not a patient person.
I kind of tested the water by saying that I should make him come today because I was on that side of town and I'd probably have to come get him anyway.
He took the bait.
So, we talked about it a bit and decided that he would come over tonight. When we finally got it all down, he text me and let me know that he could stay the night.
I was just hoping for a movie that he could keep me warm during with cuddles and a foot massage, not an all night thing.
I don't know him that well. I mean, we've only hung out maybe like four times if even that?
(Which is weird because I was talking about not wearing anything but jeans an he remembered the first time he came over, me running from my room to the bathroom in shorts. I didn't even remember that. Kudos for memory, kudos.)
Anyway, I told him that I would talk to mom about it. Luckily, he told me that he actually couldn't spend the night.
That was chill with me. I'm trying to take this slow, temptation aside, okay?
I have to keep reminding myself that sex is easy to find, relationships are not.
Sooooo....
I got back home and around nine something, he was here. I was super nervous before he got here and almost thought about cancelling. I've never been so nervous about a guy coming over before, but usually when guys that I like come over, they hit on me. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
We made out way to the living room and him and mom started to talk. We ended up sitting on separate couches and I started playing on my laptop and cellphone, not really sure what to say.
I can flirt and be tough through text, but I'm shy in person. I'm a BIG girl and it's hard to build up the confidence. I'm also very aware of how my body is moving at all times when I'm around a guy that I like. It gets better when I'm with them for awhile, but like I said, I don't know him well.
I asked him about the foot massage around ten. Despite the original heck yeah about it, I had lost interest and was more curious if he would actually kept his word. He said something on the lines of, well you're all the way over there. I told him that he could join me and he changed the subject.
Then, around eleven, I texted and asked him about it. His response was, "When am I staying the night?"
Wait...Why did dude have to stay the night to give me a foot massage? That was not in our original terms. I let him know that to.
Apparently, he wants to wait until he spends the night to cuddle and give me a foot massage.
Call me paranoid, but with the things that I already know about him, I can't help but wonder about his intentions.
Staying the night...Cuddling, probably watching a movie, and a foot massage. It's not too hard to let hands wander. Cuddling on the couch in front of my mom and giving me the foot massage there, that's not possible.
Now, I don't want to assume that is the reason because I can't prove it, but I do think that I need to be aware that it could be possible.
I decided to take the route that I usually would though. I informed him that I felt like it was an excuse, which I did not feel that way in the slightest, but does that matter?
I'm trying to break my shyness and I know that I would usually feel that way so I said it.
Hell, I've been breaking my shyness a lot around him because it's the only way to make any progress.
He told me that wasn't it, he just wants more time from when we spend the night.
Okay...
Oh, mom has a theory about it to. Mom is savvy on everything. Her theory is that he didn't want to do all of that in front of her. A good theory and possible, but I doubt it.
So, onto the rest of the story...I'm throwing a small Halloween bonfire on Wednesday. I haven't invited too many people because I didn't want it to be very big, but it came up with Mikele somehow.
Mom chewed me out after he left for talking about it and not inviting him. I was pretty much then manhandled into inviting him. I did and he said that he'll probably come.
Another reason that I didn't invite him is because I don't want my friends hitting on him. I know, that's shallow, but there are two other reasons.
Another one is the amount of gay guys that I have coming and I know from experience that they will try to come on to him and make him gay. He's not going to take that well. The ones that would stop if I said I like him, will probably blab that to him.
He knows that I think he's cute, I've admitted that, but I haven't told him that I like him. In fact, I've been telling him that I don't want to date him. A bit....Okay, a lot contradictory to my goal, but I'm complicated like that.
Also, it came around to him spending the night again. Mom is totally okay with this, in fact, it seems like she encourages it. -,-
I think she's trying to live precariously through me because she's admitted to liking dude to. Yes, he's so cute that my mom wants a piece to.
Come Wednesday, he's going to spend the night here... It's going to be really hard to behave if he tries to tempt me. I think it's about fifty/fifty.
I may just make a few moves and then look him in the eye and tell him that I'm done, it's his move and game now...If I still have the guts when it comes to that. I wonder how that will work..
Anyway...So yeah...That's how that went.
Don't forget that Wednesday is Halloween. I don't have a costume... Mom is insistent that I wear something cute. He doesn't want to kiss an ugly costume. -,-
I have no idea what I'll be or if I even dress up.
Today has been....Plain odd. So, let me start on why it has been odd.
Mikele.
On Sunday, I went out walking. Of course, I am a teen so my cellphone was glued to my hand while I was doing it. I texted him, complaining about how cold it was and then informed him that he should come warm me up. I meant it in jest, but he took it totally serious. I figured, hey, he's cute, so if he wants to come over here and warm me up.... Hell yeah!
Now, don't get me wrong. There is a difference between flirting and sex. I'm looking for a good guy to be with, not a little screw toy. I made that very clear to him to. I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just laying down the boundaries in our flirting.
Well, I got all my makeup on, begged mom, convinced mom, and was just about to walk out the door. Right as we were getting ready to leave, he text me and said that he couldn't make it.
I was frustrated. I mean, I had gotten myself excited. A really cute dude wanted to come over and focus his attention on me? Moi? Uh, hell yeah! Also, eyeliner is expensive, okay?
Come morning, I text him and let him know just how expensive eyeliner is. I had thought about deleting his number, but I didn't. A little background information about Mikele.
He hasn't tried to hit on me for real, he just responds well to when I flirt with him. He's actually pretty polite to me. He doesn't text much so it's not common for him to answers his messages. He was also in a relationship and lying about it. His explanation is that she told him to so that's what they did. I know for a fact that it was an open relationship, but still...I didn't like that he lied about it.
So, you can see why I was tempted to delete his number when he was a no show?
It's not that he doesn't show when he says he will. He's actually pretty good about coming when he says that he will.
It's because of all that. Combine all of that with my bad self-esteem and painful shyness and it's just a jerk of a combo.
Regardless, I texted him and let him know how much eyeliner cost. I'm a sucker for cute dudes, and he's a skater dude? ;-; Spare me the, 'you can do better' and 'you're stupid' lecture, okay?
If all else fails, I can just keep him as a friend.
He apologized and I asked him how he was going to make up for it.
He offered a foot rub.
What girl in her right mind would say no to that?
Well, maybe a girl that doesn't like her feet touched, is insecure about her feet, or just doesn't like them. That aside, I sure wasn't going to say no to that.
He asked me to plan a day for him to come over and do that. Well, I don't like to put things off. It's not just like that with boys, I'm like that with all events. I'm really not a patient person.
I kind of tested the water by saying that I should make him come today because I was on that side of town and I'd probably have to come get him anyway.
He took the bait.
So, we talked about it a bit and decided that he would come over tonight. When we finally got it all down, he text me and let me know that he could stay the night.
I was just hoping for a movie that he could keep me warm during with cuddles and a foot massage, not an all night thing.
I don't know him that well. I mean, we've only hung out maybe like four times if even that?
(Which is weird because I was talking about not wearing anything but jeans an he remembered the first time he came over, me running from my room to the bathroom in shorts. I didn't even remember that. Kudos for memory, kudos.)
Anyway, I told him that I would talk to mom about it. Luckily, he told me that he actually couldn't spend the night.
That was chill with me. I'm trying to take this slow, temptation aside, okay?
I have to keep reminding myself that sex is easy to find, relationships are not.
Sooooo....
I got back home and around nine something, he was here. I was super nervous before he got here and almost thought about cancelling. I've never been so nervous about a guy coming over before, but usually when guys that I like come over, they hit on me. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
We made out way to the living room and him and mom started to talk. We ended up sitting on separate couches and I started playing on my laptop and cellphone, not really sure what to say.
I can flirt and be tough through text, but I'm shy in person. I'm a BIG girl and it's hard to build up the confidence. I'm also very aware of how my body is moving at all times when I'm around a guy that I like. It gets better when I'm with them for awhile, but like I said, I don't know him well.
I asked him about the foot massage around ten. Despite the original heck yeah about it, I had lost interest and was more curious if he would actually kept his word. He said something on the lines of, well you're all the way over there. I told him that he could join me and he changed the subject.
Then, around eleven, I texted and asked him about it. His response was, "When am I staying the night?"
Wait...Why did dude have to stay the night to give me a foot massage? That was not in our original terms. I let him know that to.
Apparently, he wants to wait until he spends the night to cuddle and give me a foot massage.
Call me paranoid, but with the things that I already know about him, I can't help but wonder about his intentions.
Staying the night...Cuddling, probably watching a movie, and a foot massage. It's not too hard to let hands wander. Cuddling on the couch in front of my mom and giving me the foot massage there, that's not possible.
Now, I don't want to assume that is the reason because I can't prove it, but I do think that I need to be aware that it could be possible.
I decided to take the route that I usually would though. I informed him that I felt like it was an excuse, which I did not feel that way in the slightest, but does that matter?
I'm trying to break my shyness and I know that I would usually feel that way so I said it.
Hell, I've been breaking my shyness a lot around him because it's the only way to make any progress.
He told me that wasn't it, he just wants more time from when we spend the night.
Okay...
Oh, mom has a theory about it to. Mom is savvy on everything. Her theory is that he didn't want to do all of that in front of her. A good theory and possible, but I doubt it.
So, onto the rest of the story...I'm throwing a small Halloween bonfire on Wednesday. I haven't invited too many people because I didn't want it to be very big, but it came up with Mikele somehow.
Mom chewed me out after he left for talking about it and not inviting him. I was pretty much then manhandled into inviting him. I did and he said that he'll probably come.
Another reason that I didn't invite him is because I don't want my friends hitting on him. I know, that's shallow, but there are two other reasons.
Another one is the amount of gay guys that I have coming and I know from experience that they will try to come on to him and make him gay. He's not going to take that well. The ones that would stop if I said I like him, will probably blab that to him.
He knows that I think he's cute, I've admitted that, but I haven't told him that I like him. In fact, I've been telling him that I don't want to date him. A bit....Okay, a lot contradictory to my goal, but I'm complicated like that.
Also, it came around to him spending the night again. Mom is totally okay with this, in fact, it seems like she encourages it. -,-
I think she's trying to live precariously through me because she's admitted to liking dude to. Yes, he's so cute that my mom wants a piece to.
Come Wednesday, he's going to spend the night here... It's going to be really hard to behave if he tries to tempt me. I think it's about fifty/fifty.
I may just make a few moves and then look him in the eye and tell him that I'm done, it's his move and game now...If I still have the guts when it comes to that. I wonder how that will work..
Anyway...So yeah...That's how that went.
Don't forget that Wednesday is Halloween. I don't have a costume... Mom is insistent that I wear something cute. He doesn't want to kiss an ugly costume. -,-
I have no idea what I'll be or if I even dress up.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Weight Loss
So, I decided that I need to lose weight. I'm going to give it my best try. I'll start with exercise first, then I'll worry about my diet. I'm going to walk every night for a minimum of thirty minutes, which at my weight, is a good thing. I already walk home from school and that takes about twenty to thirty minutes.
To keep it from getting boring, I'll carry my laptop and watch anime. Since I live in a circle that is like a track, I don't have to worry about watching for traffic.
I also tagged some of my friends on Facebook and told them that they need to come over more often to practice some dances we've been learning and just chill. Tonight, I'm going to try and walk around the park with some friends.
Oh, I've also started drinking a lot of water to boost my metabolism and keep me from eating as much.
It's making me pee a lot, but I'll get used to it eventually.
Wish me luck.
To keep it from getting boring, I'll carry my laptop and watch anime. Since I live in a circle that is like a track, I don't have to worry about watching for traffic.
I also tagged some of my friends on Facebook and told them that they need to come over more often to practice some dances we've been learning and just chill. Tonight, I'm going to try and walk around the park with some friends.
Oh, I've also started drinking a lot of water to boost my metabolism and keep me from eating as much.
It's making me pee a lot, but I'll get used to it eventually.
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Shocking Pokemon Things
Here's a list of Pokemon things that you probably didn't know.^-^
1. The green sprite for Hitmonchan looks like a Togekiss watching Doduo taking a poo.
Picture taken from this site.
2. Pokemon are mutated animals. They caught Pokerus, which came from outer space and changed normal animals into Pokemon. (Hold on to your Pokemon dreams.... If I don't kill them first.)
3.Pokemon ARE eaten. Everyone knows about Team Rocket cutting off Slowpoke's tail and selling them as food. What about episode 49 when the Pokedex tells Ash, ""Farfetch'd, a Wild Duck Pokémon. Farfetch'd makes a delicious meal, especially when cooked with leek."
It's mentioned that Oak considers eating Ash's Krabby.
1. The green sprite for Hitmonchan looks like a Togekiss watching Doduo taking a poo.
2. Pokemon are mutated animals. They caught Pokerus, which came from outer space and changed normal animals into Pokemon. (Hold on to your Pokemon dreams.... If I don't kill them first.)
3.Pokemon ARE eaten. Everyone knows about Team Rocket cutting off Slowpoke's tail and selling them as food. What about episode 49 when the Pokedex tells Ash, ""Farfetch'd, a Wild Duck Pokémon. Farfetch'd makes a delicious meal, especially when cooked with leek."
It's mentioned that Oak considers eating Ash's Krabby.
4. Pokemon have been used as war weapons. In the movie, Lucario & the Mystery of Mew talks about them being used as weapons. Imagine the painful ways to die.
5. Mount Silver is based off of Mount Fiji. A mountain where people go to commit suicide. This is where you find Red at the top of the mountain...What is he doing there?
6. The Old Chateau has ghosts. This is fact. You encounter the ghost of a little girl and butler in the game. However, the tumor comes from a theory of how they died. You find an old gateau and an antidote in the trash. It's rumored that someone poisoned the two with the gateau, cake, and threw out the antidote.
7. Burned Tower in Johto is supposed to be the skeleton of a 100 foot Bellsprout
8. In DP, if you evolve your starter before you catch anything, you can't move on in the game. This is because the game believes that you have the Pokedex.
9. Azurill can change genders when it evolves. Yeah.... You read that right.
10. Contrary to popular belief, Spirtomb is NOT the only Pokemon that doesn't have a move super effective against it. Sableye does. However, if you use Odor Sleuth, it makes fighting moves effective against them.
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