School & Death to the Family

So, I just traded two pieces of gum for a big sprite and a cheese stick. That rings accomplishment to me. Just saying .

Anyway, apparently I am now dead to my family. The reason for this is because my grandma on my mom's side found out that I'm bi. She told my mom that I'm dead to the family and won't be able to see my great grandma, my grandpa, aunt & uncle, or the two siblings of mine that she raised. I'm not sad by her not wanting anything to me, honestly, I think it's about time. I will miss my grandpa and two siblings though.
Mom then told me that I couldn't volunteer with anything GLBT related anymore. That mixed with my new abandoment pissed me off to the point that I shattered the plate I was holding and stormed out of the room.
Once she realized how angry I was, she let me calm down and came to talk to me. I will be able to resume volunteering, but I'm still dead to my family.
I'm mostly fine with that.

It's not that bad though. I'm more excited about finding a sponsor for the GSA that I'm starting. I have posters that I'm going to put up and then get it running. The sponsor wants to have outings and go do things to. She's super excited about getting started and so am I. <3

Mmm, cheese.

Parties & Getting Caught

I like to imagine that I am generally mature, but at the same time, I am still a teenager. That's why, when the option to throw a party arose...I took it. My mom has been in the hospital and my dad has been staying with her. She's fine by the way, I may write a post about what's going on with that.
Anyway, I had the house to myself so I invited a few people over to chill. We saged the house, literally...I don't smoke weed so it really was sage.Then we did a bonfire in the backyard....The neighbor told my mom. I passed out and my friends stayed over to. We were just leaving when my dad pulled up to the house. I told him that they had come over to bring the baby (which magically appeared at my house during the night) to see my mom in the hospital and run me to school.
Now, I did get myself up, showered, and fed so that I could get to school, but I was late by half an hour.

Hmm, somehow I hurt my wrist last night to... I don't remember how.

I have two grandmas. The good and bad ones.
One grandma brought me some supplies over so I'm set on that.
The other is trying to set me up so that I get taken away by DHR. She's never wanted me to stay with my mom, who I am totally happy with. She wanted me to go to the counselor and tell them that I am staying by myself for a few weeks which would cause them to get involved. She didn't mention that though. What she told me was that if I did tell the counselor, I would get a scholarship.... Yeah...No.
Now that she's realized I won't tell the counselor, she's informing the school of everything, even the party. DHR is now watching my attendance record and everything, which really pisses me off.
She also wanted me to kick out my step dad...My parents are really married but he's raised me as one of his own since the day I was born and stayed with me before...
It just makes me so mad.

Film Festival

(James Robinson on the left; Jonathan Pope on the right)

Yesterday I attended a film festival for GLBTQ at the University of Alabama in Huntsville. We watched The Neighbor, Range, and Buried. The Neighbor was about a transgendered living next door to a girl who has a fear of leaving her house. You see how the two people manage to change each other’s lives just by being their true selves.

The range was made by a transgendered director about her childhood on the farm.

And Buried, the big deal one, was about the murder of a gay man. The movie was from the perspective of the killer and how he felt, showing how intimate he was with the man he had murdered.

I didn’t care much for Range because I’m a big animal lover and it made me sad, but the other two were really great.

The discussion afterwards was pretty nice as well. People were more than happy to offer their support and thoughts about the film, which is rare in other communities.

If you’d like to check out Buried, the link is below
http://www.indiegogo.com/buriedfilm

Distraction Powers Activate!

I decided to post a blog entry because I can't concentrate on my novel since people keep talking to me about different things.
I've only been awake for a little more than two hours and I have magically become the love guru today.
I woke up to a text asking me if I know what sucks about being gay. I answered no, as I assumed that the person wanted. They then responded that it sucks because the guy that they like doesn't like him back. As much as I love my friends, I'm not a morning person so I don't handle relationship advice very well in the morning. My response was to tell him that I was there if he needed to talk and then go on with my morning routine.
By second period, someone was asking me to read her love poem to her crush and constantly drawing my attention away from my novel, hence why I decided to write a blog. I just feel like I should be writing right now, but I can't concentrate on my novel which, as much as I love readers here, is much more important to me than this.
I know in fourth period my friend, Auriel, will want to tell me how things went with her boyfriend after my recent advice to just be blunt with him about how she feels. Then fifth period and lunch will be full of awkward tension as her and her boyfriend sit with my friends and I. It's awkward because she stole her boyfriend from one of the girls that I like to sit with at lunch.

Hopefully that will be the end of my advice giving since I do have a lot to work on and I don't really care to spend time listening to people talk. As of right now, I really should be reading one of the two books that I have to have done by Friday. @.@

"What Is This?'

Today I volunteered with Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgendered Advocacy and Youth Services at a community fair sponsored by the police.
It was probably one of the most fun days I've had this summer.
We got there around eight and began setting up. The fair didn't begin until ten, but people started showing up as early as nine so it was really nice that we got there early. We stood around the table for a little while and talked to people that came by.
Now, our table is about gay people and them being bullied, but it also focused on preventing STDs...So, instead of giving out candy like the rest of the tables, we handed out condoms.
It was actually kind of funny. We had old women come to the table and several times, they would hold one up and ask me, "What is this?" Then when I told them, they would either drop it in shock or start laughing. I never, ever, in my life wanted to hear about how many of them didn't need them anymore. XD
Then the mother of a boy I went to middle school came by and got some for her son who was to nervous. She had me walk up to him and give them to him, which was kind of funny because his face was priceless.

It got really funny when my friend William showed up. We are the reason that gay people have sterotypes. We were just having too much fun, laughing at stupid things that we could do. Wanna know the best ways to get kicked out of place?
(We didn't do all of these)
1. Try and claim a child at the lost place, claiming to be his mother when you're obviously a boy.
2. Ask a soldier of the same sex, "If I don't ask and don't tell, can I still stare from a distance?"
3. Ask the people that are teaching science, "Do you have the science to make me a boy?"
4. Have a younger person go up to the boy scouts with another male's arm around him and have him say, "Oh my gosh, my daddies were in this! I want to join!"
5. Get hot dogs and see who can make the other person gag first by telling the most pervy jokes while you eat them.

We only did the science and hot dog ones.


Anyway, it was a really fun event and despite the thousands of people, we only got one bad comment.
The bad comment wasn't even meant for us to hear, I just overheard a woman tell her friend, "We don't like the gays."
Other than that, it was so much fun.~

Gays & Religion

Okay, so I’ll probably piss some people off, but whatever. Please keep in mind that I’m not speaking to everyone, but I am speaking to a lot of people. We all know that one person.

So, let me start on my own people first.

Gay, lesbian, pansexual, bisexual, transgendered, or anyone that may work with them…Come on guys, what the hell? You’re supposed to be open minded about things. Why are you judging Christians back? We’re better than that. When they judge us, we need to turn the other cheek and ignore them. Especially those of us that are Christian. The best protest that I’ve been in was against Chick-Fil-A. We were cussed at, flipped off, and preached at, but to every bad comment, we responded with a good one. “Jesus loves you”, “Thank you”, and “We love you”.

The thought of a protest brings me to my next point. While I was there, anolder man approached us. He was well dressed and looked as if he could be a preacher. I admit that I immediately approached him because I figured that such a man was going to tell us that we were going to hell and I wanted to cut him off before he got to everyone else. The man stopped, handed me a bottle of water, and smiled at me. All he had wanted to do was give us water and tell each of us that Jesus loves us. With all the battering we had been getting, despite the good comments, it was nice to be reminded that Jesus still loves us.

What I mean to say with all of that is, not EVERY Christian is against us. Don’t speak hatefully against Christians because some of them are good.

And, as much as I hate to admit it, even some of the ones that are against us mean the best. They just don’t know better. Pray for those Christians, but don’t judge them because their heart may not always be in the wrong place.

Now for the Christians that need to hear this.

I’m sure you’ve heard it already, but let me repeat it again.

You are wrong. That is all there is to it. What happened to bible versus such as Matthew 7:1-5 , Romans 14:12-13 , Corinthians 4:5 , Luke 6:37 , James 4:11-12 , Ephesians 4:29? (Verses added at the ending)

Ignoring them for your own purpose is wrong and cruel.

Jesus and God want you to help your brothers. If you think that they are wrong for what they’re doing, then tell them and pray for them, but don’t tell them in a cruel way. Support them in their choices, but let them know how you feel about it. Judging someone is wrong and against the bible. God put us here to support each other, not hurt people.

I will not speak on if gay is right or wrong in accordance to the bible because it seems to be a matter of perspective, but I would love to see comments and messages about it.

If you have something to say about this, feel free. I love feedback.

Verses Mentioned

Matthew 7:1-5

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.




Romans 14:12-13

So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling blockor hindrance in the way of a brother.

1 Corinthians 4:5

Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.
Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;” James 4:11-12

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?


Ephesians 4:29

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Westlawn Community Day

The picture above is from Westlawn Middle School’s open house in Huntsville, Alabama.
GLBTAYS attended with a table to promote anti-bullying.


In the morning, Mr. James Robinson picked me up around seven in the morning and we made our way to the school. When we got there, we made name tags and headed outside. It was then that I met Renee, a darling woman that obviously cared about her children. Renee and I began to put up the banner while James prepared the table, but by the time that we finished, we realized it was too hot and moved to a shaded area. It was good that James had decided to move because nobody walked by where we had been before.
We spread a long piece of yellow paper across the table and labelled it, “Westlawn, United Against Bullying.” Through out the day, we called people to the table to sign and, well, unite against bullying. The amount of support and people that felt strongly was amazing. It ranged from a mother calling her son and telling him that he especially needed to sign to a father who thanked us for our support. The father and I talked for a few minutes and he told me about how his son was almost withdrawn from school last year because his front tooth was knocked out by a bully. Not long after he left, another mother came by and told us about how she had withdrawn her child from school. There were many more stories throughout the day about bullied children.
Okay, I know that sounds a little boring. Sitting in the sun and listening to people talk about their children? What does that even have to do with gay pride?
Well, I’ll answer the easiest one first. It had to do with gay pride because we need to stand up in our community and let people know that we’re human and we care to. Besides, it’s also an excellent opportunity to get the organization’s name out to the public and meet like minded people (An openly gay teacher) as well as support a cause that we can relate to. I mean, come on, how many gay kids get bullied?
As for boring, it really wasn’t. I love talking to people and the school offered a variety of things to do, so we weren’t just sitting there all day. As soon as we got there, I went to Zumba, which I failed at so bad but was so much fun. They also had a large variety of entertainment and free food.

Me, Myself, & Fabulous

I’m writing it because I think it would be a great subject for what I am trying to do here, as well as I have wanted to write it for awhile.
It’s been pretty well out there that I’m happily working with Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgendered Advocacy & Youth Services Inc, hence the blog that I made to get attention for them and advertise their name in hopes of getting donations.
This is not a support page, I am not going to coddle you. Realizing your sexual orientation is odd and it’s hard as well. It’s the cold bitter truth to it. Yes, it does get better, but don’t ask me to lie and say that it’s all rainbows because it’s not. Even with my optimistic personality, I would never be able to bring myself to lie to anyone who asked me a straight question about it.
I’ve had my own demons, but thankfully they are kinder to me than most people. I don’t ask for sympathy, I just need to be able to put my thoughts down. Whether someone reads them or not, fine, but opening about myself feels right even though almost dramatic.
Hehe, I like dramatic as an adjective for this. Let’s keep that word in mind.
Anyway, ignoring the painfully long intro that I’m sure bored you to death, this will be about how I feel wit my sexuality.
I am bi. It feels nice to be able to say that with a certainty. My mother raised me to care about people no matter what. I love the feeling of helping people, no matter if they’re male, female, black, white, mexican, or whatever else they may be.
Before my teacher, who I imagine must be physic, suggested GLBTAYS to me, I was bi, but it was different.
I knew who I was and I had had a girlfriend before. However, it seemed like something best kept quiet.
By the way, if this seems jumbled, that’s because it is. I am typing what’s on my mind, finally letting the fear out of my gut and what people may say but I’m not reading back over it. Not until I press publish.
I don’t know why I kept it quiet, I’ve never been the modest type of person. I mean, I wore chain pants and black lip stick when I was little, but it did.
Maybe it was my friend’s response, a girl that WAS bi, who didn’t seem to believe me. Maybe it was when another friend blatantly told me that I wasn’t. Maybe it was even because I thought it was a phase.
Obviously it wasn’t. I was often more drawn towards men, but I found myself wanting a girlfriend when I was single. Girls just make me so much happier. So many of them are so beautiful, no matter what they think is wrong with them, and I loved being able to remind the girls of that and seeing their face light up. I loved being able to be there for someone if they needed to cry in my arms.
In the summary, I loved being the man of the relationship. The one to hold someone, the one to make them feel special, and the one to give up my coat.
However, it still feels weird working with GLBTAYS at times because I question where my heart is. You see, I may be bi, but I’m much more into men and I haven’t had a girlfriend since last year. I dated a man who was the girl in our relationship. He wore skirts, I called him my girlfriend, and I treated him as a girl, but he was still a male.
I think a lot of why I latched onto this organization is because it has so much spirit. People don’t pretend to be happy to see you because it’s what’s expected of them. They ARE happy to see you. At the time my teacher suggested it to me, I didn’t know that i would need this spirit.
Not long after, less than a month, I had a panic attack. That panic attacked mixed with depression also gave way to anxiety and it has been a struggle at times to keep going. Yes, it’s grown weaker and I could do without a life boat to latch to, but the moments that I work with GLBTAYS, I keep my mind busy and it all sheds away. Not only that, but I’m actually doing something. I am actually helping make a change and doing something. Every other place that I have volunteered at, and I have a lot, I didn’t feel like I was welcomed there or that i was doing anything to help the group.
The feeling of being helpful and wanting to do so much more for them really helped combat my depression, but it also brought thoughts about, was this right?
I didn’t know if I belonged in such a group because I may not be fully bi. It really helped to meet some of the straight people that helped and see that they also had the same concern. They were straight, was it okay for them to help with this group?
We did a protest not long after and several straight people attended. It was better than okay. It showed the world that it wasn’t just a bunch of gay people wanting their way. It was actually a matter over rights and anyone who could look at it in an educated manner could tell that it was wrong to not allow gay marriage.
In closing, I do understand that this is an emotional and dramatic dump but guess what? I didn’t do it for anyone. I did it for me and I want this blog to be intimate. I want the people that read it to be able to dump things like this on me and know that they’re not alone.
Sexuality is a huge choice in your life and it can be confusing, even for someone who knows what they are.
Links to the organization if you would like to check it out


http://www.glbtays.org/


https://www.facebook.com/GLBTAYS


https://twitter.com/GLBTAYS


http://glbtays.blogspot.com/

The Weirdness That Is My Life

I'd like to say that the weirdest thing going on with me would be the fact that my cat stalks me around the house, but of course that's not the case. I am a magnetic for odd people and odd situations.

About two months ago, someone started calling the fire department and police to my house, but they never gave a name, they just claimed that they saw smoke. Since the dispatcher gives the orders to the fire fighters and police, the people that we talked to never actually had access to the number. After about the fourth time, they did however, tell me that they thought I should be careful and carry a weapon at all times because it may be intended as a threat.
That's when the really odd stuff started happening. After one of the calls, my mom and I left to McDonald's at around midnight to get a drink. My mom has extreme paranoia, so her nerves were already well shot. It didn't help that when we came back, our spot light was on. Our spot light doesn't come on unless something over four feet is moving in the yard. We do have a dog in the backyard, but he's a very small breed and far from four feet.
Mom and I hurried into the house and told my dad, who told us that we were overreacting.
I was a little nervous after the police warning, but not terribly upset or bothered. What did bother me was when someone knocked on my window late that night. Now, honestly, it's not odd for people to knock on my window. It's in the back of the house pretty far from the door and I never listen for people knocking so everyone knows to come around to my window and knock if they need to get my attention. The only odd thing about it was that it was around two or three in the morning, at least, that's what I'm guessing because the knocking woke me up.
The last thing was the scariest and made me want to talk to mom about going to the police, but she still won't go to them even now.
A few days later, I was in my room and on the computer. I heard the door to the house open and my dogs start to bark, so I figured that mom was finally home. Like usual, I called out to her, greeting her, but unlike usual, I didn't get a response back. I waited a few moments and called out once more, but when I still didn't get a response, I went to check on her.
My mom was nowhere to be seen and the door that had been closed was now wide open. It had to have been closed because honestly, who would leave their door wide open?
I called and told mom what happened and she immediately had me grab a weapon and search the house while she returned home.
There was nobody in the house.
Things stopped for awhile, I went out of state for almost a month, came back, and things still had stopped. With us that is.
The fire department pulled up to my neighbor's house last night and we smelled gasoline. It didn't take long for them to leave so we immediately went over to her house to check and make sure that she was okay. She informed us that she was, but that was the fourth time that they had been called to their house.
She also informed us that she had a suspicious someone had been in one of the abandoned houses right next door to us. Add that thought to the late night that was pitch black and the smell of gasoline all over her house and it wasn't surprising what came next.
Let me state that at this point, I had an issue with an ex following me out of the state and had to deal with the police. I was already tired of the shit and figured that everybody was/is overreacting.
Okay, well anyway, afterwards someone started walking towards us from a good distance down. They held a bag in one hand and something long and rigid in the others but because of the dark and distance, we couldn't make out what it was.
The person turned down the road and mom claimed that he had been carrying a rifle. I still think it was a stick, but whatever, it was too dark to know. We all piled in the van and like the intelligent people that we are, followed the person to see if it was indeed a rifle. We had already lost them though.
We went around the local area to get payphone numbers in case we ever got the caller number from the police.
When we got back, we went into the houses and were going to go to bed. Well, I wasn't. I was going to stay up and read all night, but you know what I mean?
Not long after, I heard a thump against my window that was followed by a weird noises, kind of like soft knocking on the back door. Mom didn't hear the thump, but she did hear the knocking. Once it settled down, we went to bed.
This morning mom woke me up in a state of fear. According to the neighbor, someone rode by at 3 AM yelling "I'm gonna kill you!" and was looking in windows.
I don't know if it actually happened because I didn't hear it, but I was awake at that time, if not paying attention to my window.

Have Mor Equality

I'm trying this with a baby babbling in my ear, so if I totally fail this entry....Oh well. She's worth it.

Today was a lot of fun, but it left me tired. = (

It started off with an annoying alarm at seven AM so I could take a shower, get dressed, and put some music on my MP3 Player before my ride picked me up.
At around 8:30, I was on my way to a middle school that I'd never heard of to help them paint. We were lead to their court yard where they told us what they needed to have done: Paint the sidewalk, paint the shed, work on the bulletin board, and put up streamers. I took the job of painting the shed with another girl, Taylor. It didn't take long before my friend Whitney joined me. I had told her about the Chick-Fil-A controversy and she was furious, so much, that she was more than happy to join me at the protest scheduled for after despite being straight.
We painted....Terribly.

My friend, straight, who came to help paint and support gay rights

We had too much fun with the paint

A few hours later, we were done and we went for a very rushed lunch. Once we finished (Never order the Meximelt from Taco Bell, it is not worth the money) we went to Chick-Fil-A.

It didn't take but a few minutes before people appeared from every direction with signs and rainbow gear. We made our way to the road with signs that read a variety of things, such as "Be The Change", "Let Jesus Judge", "Hate is Bad 4 Ur Heart", and "Luv Mor, Hate Less."
It was amazing, everyone was so kind and upbeat despite the occasional hatred that came through. We endured several people yelling out "fag" and "faggot", multiple times being flipped off, and many people showing off their Chick-Fil-A, but it didn't deter one person.
For every rude person, there was about fifty people who honked, thumbs upped us, gave peace signs, and yelled words of encouragement. It was a fantastic reminder of how good our community can be.

The best moment was when an elder man approached us. He had a bag of water in his hand and was more than happy to offer water to anyone that would take it. He also came with a message. He wanted us to know that despite what everyone said, Jesus loves us and everyone of his children no matter what.
He wasn't the only person to approach us. Chick-Fil-A brought us drinks, people who saw us from the road came and held signs, and I believe that one person came to talk to us.

Oh, and a girl brought a rainbow umbrella that she gave me. <3 It made me so happy. I plan to take it to future events.~

All in all, I have to say that the protest was a
success.

Chick-Fil-A

I was slow to the story, but that didn't stop me from jumping right in.
If you don't already know, Dan Cathy, the COO of Chick-Fil-A, openly announced to the news that he and his company support Christian values and therefore do not support gay marriage. Not only do they not support it, but they're so strongly against it that they donate money to organizations that fight gay marriage such as Marriage & Family Foundation ($1,188,380).

Several political figures are making their stance well known after this controversy. Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum urged people to attend Chick-Fil-A's "Appreciate Day" on Wednesday to show their support of the company's decision to support traditional marriage. On the flip side, several officials have asked Chick-Fil-A to not try and expand in their city. Some of the most well recognized cases are Boston's Mayor Thomas Menino who wrote to Chick-Fil-A, suggesting that they "back out of their plans to locate in Boston"; Philadelphia City Councilman James Kenney who wrote to the company "Take a hike and take your intolerance with you"; and Chicago Mayor Tahm Emanuel who announced that "Chick-Fil-A's values are not Chicago's values.".

Appreciation Day (Huntsville, AL)

 Chick-Fil-As all over America were swamped with people with different mindsets on "Appreciation Day". Some people just wanted to support Chick-Fil-A's freedom of speech, some wanted to support anti-same sex marriage, and some wanted to support their religion. The gay community was outraged, but most of the outrage didn't seem to come from the fact that people were supporting the company. In fact, while looking at Facebook comments, I noticed that most of the aggravation was from the misconception that the gay community was trying to fight Chick-Fil-A's freedom of speech. Because of this, they have been openly trying to spread the word that it's nothing to do with the actual comments, but instead with the fact that they're donating money to companies that fight gay marriage.

In response to the "Appreciation Day", organizations and even independent groups of people, are rallying this weekend for protests of the restaurant. One of the best known protests is Friday where a kiss in will be staged. Gay couples from all over America will attend the restaurant and kiss someone of the same sex. They are then being asked to donate the price of an average meal to an organization that supports same sex marriage. The suggested amount is $6.50.
Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, the group that started the kiss in, is asking people to not go in groups and to be on the conservative side if they do attend.



If you would like to donate to an organization to help their stand in this fight, please consider Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgendered Youth & Advocacy in Huntsville, Alabama. We are a group that not only fights for our rights, but also offers support to youth in the area that needs a helping hand or a listening ear.
The link to my fundraiser
It will open in a new window.

If you live in Huntsville or areas close to it, please consider attending the protest on Saturday.
Facebook Event/Protest

Cars wrapping around Chick-Fil-A in Huntsville, AL. This is one of several in town