My Leave From Blogging, Halloween, and Drag Queens

I haven't written a post in a little more than a week. It's not because I've been busy...I just haven't felt like it.
Well, I guess that I should catch up on what has happened to me.
I was excited in my last entry for Halloween. This guy that I liked was supposed to spend that night with me, I was taking my niece trick-or-treating, throwing a going away party for a good friend, and I had my GSA.
Well, the GSA and going away party went great. Then, I got home and started to get ready. An hour before we were supposed to pick him up, I texted him to remind him. No answer.
An hour later, and we were running late anyway, I texted him again and no answer. So, I decided to call him. I had to use my mom's phone since the microphone on my own is busted. When I called, a girl answered the phone. She then informed me that he had went out skating and left his phone there. Okay...Can you have him call me back? 
During the course of the night, I sent him two more text messages. One last attempt to see if he was coming and then one telling him where he could go for standing me up. I haven't heard from him since and that's fine. I deleted his number.
I understand standing someone up once in a blue moon, but twice in one week? Hell no!
It was all good though. I had a great time with my niece. She's three years old and she's like an adopted daughter to me. I took her trick-or-treating and she seemed to really enjoy it. On top of that, someone followed us for a few moments to give her a big treat. It turns out that they were saving them for 'the cute ones'. They were probably for the babies in general, but it made me smile.
Once we were almost home, she looked up at me and thanked me for helping her trick-or-treat. My heart melted.
When we got back, dad had been drinking and he was rowdy. He got to spend the night on the back porch. =D
He called my niece a nigger. Yeah, she's black but she's still part of the family and I love her like she's white. Nobody talks like that around her.
I fell asleep by nine that night...Super early for me.
Other things of mention this week...?
Well, there was the presidential election. I'm really glad that Obama won but I feel a bit bad for Romney. I mean, he came so far and tried so hard, but now he's leaving politics. Not just the running for president, but politics in general.
Four more years. =D
Other than that, yesterday is mentionable.
I had my GSA on Wednesday like every week. Every other week, we aim to have a speaker.
Well, I invited a professional drag queen. She's a volunteer with the organization that I work with and she's been nothing but kind every time I've talked to her.
She most certainly didn't deserve the welcoming that she got to my school.
In fact, I feel ashamed to say that I am a Lee High General.
I hurried out of the building as soon as the bell had rung because I didn't want to leave her outside waiting for me. Two of my friends that also attend the GSA caught me going out and joined me. We all walked in together. Within a few feet from the door, we started hearing people talking.
"Is that a dude?" "Aye man, that's a dude!" "Get out of here!"
All kinds of cruel things. The talking then began to roll into yelling. People were following us and yelling things at her! She hadn't even said one word to them.
Luckily, the staff came out and stopped them and we got on the elevator because he knee is bad. Nobody threw anything or tried to touch her.
She was okay with it though...In fact, she seemed used to it.
We had the least amount of members that we've ever had at that meeting. Go figure.

Early Morning Thoughts

I couldn't sleep tonight so I made the choice to stay up all night. I'm not tired, I'm sure I will be later, but that's okay.
Maybe I'll actually be able to sleep when Mikele's here.
I decided to power through the last few episodes of Toradora, which if you don't know is a romance comedy. It's pretty good but it kind of jaded me out.
I miss being with someone and being in love. Yeah, I know that I'm seventeen and that I have plenty of time. I get that, but still...I can't help but feel this way.
I started thinking about Mikele. Yeah, he's great and all, but I know that I'm trying to use him as a filler for what I had.
You see, I dated a guy named Jamie for nine months two years ago...I really cared about him. I've dated several guys, had them take me places and make me smile, even had them admit that they loved me, but none of them stuck with me like Jamie did. I dated these guys before and after him so he wasn't my first or last. Why then does he keep sticking out to me?
He cheated on me so many times, he made me cry constantly, and he left me for my best friend at the time who is now pregnant. I want to be happy for her, but I can't help but a bit resentful. I really cared about him. All the times that I saw him, I was filled with this happiness that made me feel like the entire world wanted me to smile.
It sounds mopey, I know. I'm seventeen, about to be eighteen. I'm too young to be in love. That's what I want to tell myself but I can't help it. I really feel like I loved him. Ever since then, there has been this little emptiness. When I think about him, I feel like crying. Even when I'm with a guy, I don't have that happiness and I want to find someone who will give it to me.
I shouldn't be relying on others to make me happy. I know that, but it's just how I feel.
Even now, a guy who likes me and wants to be with me just texted me. He's such a great guy. He treats me like a queen and makes me smile, but it's not who I want...
I feel like such a brat right now. Heh, complaining and dwelling on some guy who never cared about me.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not unhappy. I'm really excited about this afternoon, getting to take my little girl trick-or-treating and spending the night with guy person. I'm happy all the time, my life is fantastic, but I can't help but feel sad sometimes.

I Swear That I'm Japanese

I'm adopted. Yeah, that's what I'll tell people.
Today has been....Plain odd. So, let me start on why it has been odd.
Mikele.
On Sunday, I went out walking. Of course, I am a teen so my cellphone was glued to my hand while I was doing it. I texted him, complaining about how cold it was and then informed him that he should come warm me up. I meant it in jest, but he took it totally serious. I figured, hey, he's cute, so if he wants to come over here and warm me up.... Hell yeah!
Now, don't get me wrong. There is a difference between flirting and sex. I'm looking for a good guy to be with, not a little screw toy. I made that very clear to him to. I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just laying down the boundaries in our flirting.
Well, I got all my makeup on, begged mom, convinced mom, and was just about to walk out the door. Right as we were getting ready to leave, he text me and said that he couldn't make it.
I was frustrated. I mean, I had gotten myself excited. A really cute dude wanted to come over and focus his attention on me? Moi? Uh, hell yeah! Also, eyeliner is expensive, okay?
Come morning, I text him and let him know just how expensive eyeliner is. I had thought about deleting his number, but I didn't. A little background information about Mikele.
He hasn't tried to hit on me for real, he just responds well to when I flirt with him. He's actually pretty polite to me. He doesn't text much so it's not common for him to answers his messages. He was also in a relationship and lying about it. His explanation is that she told him to so that's what they did. I know for a fact that it was an open relationship, but still...I didn't like that he lied about it.
So, you can see why I was tempted to delete his number when he was a no show?
It's not that he doesn't show when he says he will. He's actually pretty good about coming when he says that he will.
It's because of all that. Combine all of that with my bad self-esteem and painful shyness and it's just a jerk of a combo.
Regardless, I texted him and let him know how much eyeliner cost. I'm a sucker for cute dudes, and he's a skater dude? ;-; Spare me the, 'you can do better' and 'you're stupid' lecture, okay?
If all else fails, I can just keep him as a friend.
He apologized and I asked him how he was going to make up for it.
He offered a foot rub.
What girl in her right mind would say no to that?
Well, maybe a girl that doesn't like her feet touched, is insecure about her feet, or just doesn't like them. That aside, I sure wasn't going to say no to that.
He asked me to plan a day for him to come over and do that. Well, I don't like to put things off. It's not just like that with boys, I'm like that with all events. I'm really not a patient person.
I kind of tested the water by saying that I should make him come today because I was on that side of town and I'd probably have to come get him anyway.
He took the bait.
So, we talked about it a bit and decided that he would come over tonight. When we finally got it all down, he text me and let me know that he could stay the night.
I was just hoping for a movie that he could keep me warm during with cuddles and a foot massage, not an all night thing.
I don't know him that well. I mean, we've only hung out maybe like four times if even that?
(Which is weird because I was talking about not wearing anything but jeans an he remembered the first time he came over, me running from my room to the bathroom in shorts. I didn't even remember that. Kudos for memory, kudos.)
Anyway, I told him that I would talk to mom about it. Luckily, he told me that he actually couldn't spend the night.
That was chill with me. I'm trying to take this slow, temptation aside, okay?
I have to keep reminding myself that sex is easy to find, relationships are not.
Sooooo....
I got back home and around nine something, he was here. I was super nervous before he got here and almost thought about cancelling. I've never been so nervous about a guy coming over before, but usually when guys that I like come over, they hit on me. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
We made out way to the living room and him and mom started to talk. We ended up sitting on separate couches and I started playing on my laptop and cellphone, not really sure what to say.
I can flirt and be tough through text, but I'm shy in person. I'm a BIG girl and it's hard to build up the confidence. I'm also very aware of how my body is moving at all times when I'm around a guy that I like. It gets better when I'm with them for awhile, but like I said, I don't know him well.
I asked him about the foot massage around ten. Despite the original heck yeah about it, I had lost interest and was more curious if he would actually kept his word. He said something on the lines of, well you're all the way over there. I told him that he could join me and he changed the subject.
Then, around eleven, I texted and asked him about  it. His response was, "When am I staying the night?"
Wait...Why did dude have to stay the night to give me a foot massage? That was not in our original terms. I let him know that to.
Apparently, he wants to wait until he spends the night to cuddle and give me a foot massage.
Call me paranoid, but with the things that I already know about him, I can't help but wonder about his intentions.
Staying the night...Cuddling, probably watching a movie, and a foot massage. It's not too hard to let hands wander. Cuddling on the couch in front of my mom and giving me the foot massage there, that's not possible.
Now, I don't want to assume that is the reason because I can't prove it, but I do think that I need to be aware that it could be possible.
I decided to take the route that I usually would though. I informed him that I felt like it was an excuse, which I did not feel that way in the slightest, but does that matter?
I'm trying to break my shyness and I know that I would usually feel that way so I said it.
Hell, I've been breaking my shyness a lot around him because it's the only way to make any progress.
He told me that wasn't it, he just wants more time from when we spend the night.
Okay...
Oh, mom has a theory about it to. Mom is savvy on everything. Her theory is that he didn't want to do all of that in front of her. A good theory and possible, but I doubt it.
So, onto the rest of the story...I'm throwing a small Halloween bonfire on Wednesday. I haven't invited too many people because I didn't want it to be very big, but it came up with Mikele somehow.
Mom chewed me out after he left for talking about it and not inviting him. I was pretty much then manhandled into inviting him. I did and he said that he'll probably come.
Another reason that I didn't invite him is because I don't want my friends hitting on him. I know, that's shallow, but there are two other reasons.
Another one is the amount of gay guys that I have coming and I know from experience that they will try to come on to him and make him gay. He's not going to take that well. The ones that would stop if I said I like him, will probably blab that to him.
He knows that I think he's cute, I've admitted that, but I haven't told him that I like him. In fact, I've been telling him that I don't want to date him. A bit....Okay, a lot contradictory to my goal, but I'm complicated like that.
Also, it came around to him spending the night again. Mom is totally okay with this, in fact, it seems like she encourages it. -,-
I think she's trying to live precariously through me because she's admitted to liking dude to. Yes, he's so cute that my mom wants a piece to.
Come Wednesday, he's going to spend the night here... It's going to be really hard to behave if he tries to tempt me. I think it's about fifty/fifty.
I may just make a few moves and then look him in the eye and tell him that I'm done, it's his move and game now...If I still have the guts when it comes to that. I wonder how that will work..
Anyway...So yeah...That's how that went.
Don't forget that Wednesday is Halloween. I don't have a costume... Mom is insistent that I wear something cute. He doesn't want to kiss an ugly costume. -,-
I have no idea what I'll be or if I even dress up.

Weight Loss

So, I decided that I need to lose weight. I'm going to give it my best try. I'll start with exercise first, then I'll worry about my diet. I'm going to walk every night for a minimum of thirty minutes, which at my weight, is a good thing. I already walk home from school and that takes about twenty to thirty minutes.
To keep it from getting boring, I'll carry my laptop and watch anime. Since I live in a circle that is like a track, I don't have to worry about watching for traffic.
I also tagged some of my friends on Facebook and told them that they need to come over more often to practice some dances we've been learning and just chill. Tonight, I'm going to try and walk around the park with some friends.
Oh, I've also started drinking a lot of water to boost my metabolism and keep me from eating as much.
It's making me pee a lot, but I'll get used to it eventually.
Wish me luck.

Shocking Pokemon Things

Here's a list of Pokemon things that you probably didn't know.^-^

1. The green sprite for Hitmonchan looks like a Togekiss watching Doduo taking a poo.

Picture taken from this site.








2. Pokemon are mutated animals. They caught Pokerus, which came from outer space and changed normal animals into Pokemon. (Hold on to your Pokemon dreams.... If I don't kill them first.)

3.Pokemon ARE eaten. Everyone knows about Team Rocket cutting off Slowpoke's tail and selling them as food. What about episode 49 when the Pokedex tells Ash, ""Farfetch'd, a Wild Duck Pokémon. Farfetch'd makes a delicious meal, especially when cooked with leek."
It's mentioned that Oak considers eating Ash's Krabby. 

4. Pokemon have been used as war weapons. In the movie, Lucario & the Mystery of Mew talks about them being used as weapons. Imagine the painful ways to die.

5. Mount Silver is based off of Mount Fiji. A mountain where people go to commit suicide. This is where you find Red at the top of the mountain...What is he doing there? 

6. The Old Chateau has ghosts. This is fact. You encounter the ghost of a little girl and butler in the game. However, the tumor comes from a theory of how they died. You find an old gateau and an antidote in the trash. It's rumored that someone poisoned the two with the gateau, cake, and threw out the antidote. 

7. Burned Tower in Johto is supposed to be the skeleton of a 100 foot Bellsprout

8. In DP, if you evolve your starter before you catch anything, you can't move on in the game. This is because the game believes that you have the Pokedex. 

9. Azurill can change genders when it evolves. Yeah.... You read that right. 

10. Contrary to popular belief, Spirtomb is NOT the only Pokemon that doesn't have a move super effective against it. Sableye does. However, if you use Odor Sleuth, it makes fighting moves effective against them. 

Tempermental Issues

Ugh, these past two days I have felt like I'm going to explode. I feel bad at the same time because I have snapped at some people that I shouldn't have. I did put a public warning on Facebook but that doesn't justify it...
Yesterday was the worse, but today feels like it could get bad.
I got to school yesterday and had issues with the same damn teacher that gets on my nerves every time. I hate to say this because it makes me feel bad, but I kind of can't help but wondering if he's a little bit racist. He doesn't yell at anyone or take anything up from anyone but me and this other girl. We're the only two white kids in his class. Well, there is a Mexican, but he's not white. XD
And yes, racism does go both ways, but these days, I'd like to imagine that it's not racism.
It just doesn't feel right to call anyone racist or sexist even though there are some people like that.
I don't know...
But anyway, I've already been quirked at this teacher. When my mom was in the hospital, he took up my phone knowing that I wouldn't be able to get it back because my mom couldn't leave the ER to come get it. My phone was just lying on my desk, not even being used.
That wouldn't bother me because it's his job. You see a phone, you take it.
What does bother me about it though is that he took me phone, but when another girl actually gets on her phone in the middle of class in front of him, he doesn't take it. He also hasn't taken the phones that have gone of in class and there have been about three. I can't forget the boy that listens to music every day in class and doesn't get in trouble when the entire classroom can hear his music.
Okay, maybe the kid has some weird doctor's note that lets him...I doubt it though.
Then there is the way that he talks to me. He's always yelling at me and talking to me like he looks down on me. Then he yells at me for not joining in the class discussion about football. I don't know anything about football. How come you're not getting on to the other kids? There are other kids than me and the other white girl that aren't talking.
Yesterday, he made me rewrite the same assignment twice.
Apparently we write the questions.
Okay... I'm absent a lot due to having caught phemonia and two deaths.

You must have told us when I was absent. That's fine... You don't have to take a tone with me though when I'm saying yes sir.
He was acting like I don't listen when I simply haven't been here. And guys, don't say that you've been back a few days so you must know by now. I've done some work but he'd never said anything to me then and we don't do much work. If he had said anything, I would have listened.
I took the paper back and wrote the questions on the back. When I took the paper back up to him, he yelled at me, saying that "the questions come first, then the answers."
He had me write the paper again...I had to do other work and here I was writing the paper over again. To me, it felt like I was being punished for being absent after a family friend had died.
I came to learn, not copy my work. >.>
The bell rang before I was done so I got my grade marked off which is absolutely joyous... I did the work, I just couldn't write fast enough.
Of course he was rude about that to.
Today he was pretty rude, but he left me alone for the most part which was nice.
Yesterday I also got tempermental because my friend William kept blowing my phone up constantly about Pokemon.
If you've read any of my blog entries, you probably know that I'm a huge Pokemon fan.
However, it was extra annoying because he kept talking about battling and wanting to tell me the plot.
I was and still am absolutely against learning the plot. This is one of the first times that I can't afford a Pokemon game as soon as it came out so I've never had the plot spoiled.
I would be furious and he kept going off about it. Eventually I snapped off at him.
He's really sensitive so I felt terrible about it even though he seemed fine. I'm going to have to talk to him about it.
The next reason I'm temperamental is because my teacher has had me for three years now. You would think that having me two hours a day for three years, she would know me by now. That's not including all the other things outside of school I have done with her and this class.
Apparently not though.
Every week, we have this thing called workshop. Someone gives us their work on Friday and by Thursday, we have it critiqued and go over it with them. We didn't do it Thursday and I wasn't here Friday so I had to do it yesterday. I sat her down and talked to her about how she didn't proof read it and her one page took me an hour and a half to go over. Then I told her about how good the idea is but how hard it was to read.
That's what the teacher told me to do because I had torn it up so bad on paper, I went to the teacher and told her that I didn't feel comfortable workshopping it.
The vice prinicple told my teacher I had called her work "crap". I would never!
I could see where workshop would look mean because her work is being corrected, especially one that hadn't even been proofread and had a lot of corrections, but I would never say that it was crap.
She was there when I got my first workshop and it almost left me in tears. I've come to her several times to warn her that I was worried workshop would get carried away and every time I have been right. I've also talked to the students and warned them that workshop is harsh the first time, but it doesn't mean their work is bad. Everyone knows that I'm the most gentle workshopper in the class...

Anime &....More Anime

I'm trying to finish the movie for the Haruhi Suzumiya series in between classes. I will finish this movie today!
I've managed to watch the Melancholy, season one and season two. It's pretty good though.
I don't know what to move on to next.
Lucky Star, Aizomio Dango (or whatever it is), or the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya-Chan.
I'll probably check out the last one, maybe the first... I don't know..
I think I'll be a little sad when I finish this series because it's been really good. It will be neat to know that the voice actor for Haruhi voices someone in Lucky Star.
Maybe by the next time I go to a con, I'll know who half of the character are.
I already know the Inuyasha, Trigun, Soul Eater, Naruto, Bleach, Sailor Moon, and several other characters are.
Mainly those really popular ones.
I would have to say that the Melancholy is certainly one of my favorites right now. <3

Oh, this reminds me that I need to watch the World Series of Hetalia.